346: A Racehorse Became Soup on DIYS w/Brandon Cormell
Dam Internet, You Scary!
Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 20 March 2026
⏱️ 65 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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Patrick Cloud is joined by Brandon Cormell for a full episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! packed with weird news, hilarious debates, and internet stories that somehow keep getting stranger.
This episode starts with a real conversation about writing, improv, and when actors should stick to the script, then quickly turns into one of those classic DIYS episodes where the topics go completely off the rails.
They get into:
whether you would eat the same meal every day to be perfectly healthy
whether hunting is better than being hunted
trading years of your life for money
a racehorse that was secretly turned into soup
the worst things people have found in their food
the woman who caused an emergency landing by lighting matches after farting on a plane
fake airplane parts being sold to major airlines
a family bringing a dead relative to the bank as proof of death
awkward teenage penguins
a WWII pigeon carrying a coded message
a beetle photo that looks like a masked human face
the creepy dead bride mannequin legend
folklore creatures, Gumberoo, and why Bigfoot might be old news
Lots of laughs, a few dark turns, and plenty of “how is this real?” moments.
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00:00 Intro: Writing, Improv, and Letting Actors Cook
00:00:46 Patrick Introduces the Show and Guest Host Brandon Cormell
00:01:27 What It’s Like Being a Writer
00:02:07 When Actors Go Off Script
00:03:22 Icebreakers Begin
00:03:46 Would You Eat the Same Meal Every Day to Be Healthy?
00:06:10 Would You Rather Be Hunted or Hunt to Survive?
00:07:57 Would You Trade 5 Years of Life for $10 Million?
00:09:02 Racehorse Secretly Slaughtered and Served in a Soup Kitchen
00:12:51 BlueChew Ad
00:15:21 Worst Thing You’ve Ever Found in Food
00:18:40 Woman Causes Emergency Landing After Lighting Matches for Her Farts
00:23:27 Plane Confessions and Blaming the Wrong Person
00:25:43 Fake Airplane Parts Sold to Real Airlines
00:30:10 Fear of Flying, Boeing Talk, and Pilot Sleep Stories
00:32:48 Family Brings Dead Relative to the Bank for Proof of Death
00:34:39 Factor Ad
00:36:48 Inheritance Drama and Why Death Brings Out the Worst in People
00:38:34 Teenage Penguins Look Awkward as Hell
00:40:59 The WWII Carrier Pigeon That Never Delivered Its Message
00:45:04 Creepy Beetle Photo That Looks Like a Human Face
00:47:10 Animal Cruelty, Horse Racing, and Pit Bull Stereotypes
00:48:06 Kikoff Ad
00:50:54 Dead Bride Mannequin Urban Legend
00:54:25 Day of the Dead, Coco, and When a Person Really Dies
00:57:55 Gumbo Roux Folklore and the Lumberjack Era
01:01:20 Is Bigfoot Old News? Frog Man and Modern Folklore
01:02:20 Brandon Promotes The Airport
01:03:45 Patrick’s Closing Plugs and Outro
Transcript
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| 0:29.6 | But it's good to see what you write come to life on screen and how you envision it. |
| 0:35.6 | That's something about writing. Is when it comes to improv, |
| 0:39.2 | because one thing that I've always wondered is like, |
| 0:43.7 | like, okay, for instance, if I get a scene, |
| 0:47.0 | I'm really big on improv, but I never really know, |
| 0:51.1 | like, the rules for it. |
| 0:52.8 | Because sometimes it's like you kind of want to get it a couple times |
| 0:57.6 | how they have it and then go and do something else but then you hear about people like |
| 1:01.5 | Robin Williams that never reads the script they're just like you y'all hired me to be funny |
| 1:05.7 | and then he just does his own thing as a writer do you kind of like hope for moments like that where they kind of add their |
| 1:12.2 | own thing? Or are you kind of like, oh, that's stick to the stick to what I wrote. |
| 1:16.4 | Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Damn Internet, you're scary. I am Patrick |
| 1:21.9 | Cloud. I said, damn Internet, you're scary. It's damn Internet, you scary. I don't be doing |
| 1:25.7 | the intros. but today we have a |
... |
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