My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there.

Just to bring it out. This is what

compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black

Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma

and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then

others. Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns

and grow in your self-work. I'm Sheena Lachay, love addiction coach and trauma specialist.

Let's begin. So this breakup really hurts and you don't know why.

Whether or not it just happened and is fresh or this is happening years ago and you're still

holding onto it and you still can't move past it.

Instead of a normal breakup, you may be dealing with something called withdrawal, which is

the physiological and psychological effects that happen when you withdraw from a trauma-bonding

or love-addictive relationship.

So we're going to talk about five ways that this breakup is different than all the other break-ups

that maybe you've experienced or people in your life have experienced so that you can release

all the shame and guilt that may come with feeling this so deeply and also give you hope on

how to move forward.

So from the very time, I'm going to

tell you that the difference between breakup pain from most people, whether or not you are securely

attached or even insecurely or avoided, is that that pain is about loss and grief. Like all things

in loss and grief, there are waves of emotions. They come. They may rise, but they also fall.

And eventually over time, you're able to move through it. Maybe there's a reconciliation that happens within your heart. You're able to find your own personal closure, able to find some forgiveness, or you're able to make meaning over what happened. But whatever there is, there's progress. However, when it comes from withdrawal from breakups, especially if the relationship is love addicted or trauma-vogged, there's not only the loss and grief, but your whole body is

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