To be empathetic does not necessarily mean you have to understand exactly how they feel.

You simply have to understand and be able to communicate that you understand their feeling something.

And that this something is an issue, this something is, is distressing or disturbing to them,

and that you are there to help them through that.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger, and as always, I'm here with my producer, Jason DeFilippo.

On this episode we'll be talking with my friend Bob Berg. Bob, man, this guy he is, he wrote essentially an instant classic called the Go Giveer.

And also the Go Giveer leader, him and John David Mann, really, it's like a modern parables for being a great networker and being very giving and everything.

And it's just they've just sold hundreds and hundreds of thousands of copies of these books.

His latest book, The Go Giveer Influencer, as well a parable about achieving what you want by focusing on the other person's interests in a way that's not self sacrificial and these little nuggets of wisdom included in these parables are really useful.

And to some of us who might think, okay, I already know all this stuff and I understand why people think that I understand why a lot of people ignore things like this, but it goes along with what I said about Dale Carnegie's, how to win friends and influence people, where we might know the concepts,

but whether or not we're applying them is a totally different story. So today we'll discuss something called the seat belt principle of emotions and how we can work on our ability to react in ways that results in a more productive disagreement, if you can call it that.

We'll also work on stepping into the other person's shoes in a more effective way by something that Bob calls listening with the back of your neck and how this will help us find common understanding, common ground and frames.

I am a huge fan of frames, frame control. You've heard me talk a lot about this type of thing in the past several years. If you've been listening to us for a while, we'll talk about setting the right frames responding to negative frames, a little bit of an overview there. And last but not least, how to say no in a way that doesn't end up getting us in trouble later on down the line.

As usual, there are worksheets for today's episodes. You can make sure you solidify your understanding, get all the key takeaways here from Bob Berg. That link is in the show notes as always at Jordan Harbinger.com slash podcast. Now here's Bob Berg Bob.

The go giver is one of those books that it's like an instant, I don't know if it was an instant classic or if it's just a classic now that I've noticed it's not not because I noticed it.

That wouldn't make it a classic, but I mean, maybe I noticed it because it became one. Oh, that would have helped. If you noticed it, my friend, that would have helped you're like the most network guy and one of the most love guys I've ever seen. So absolutely that would that would be a part of it.

Well, I appreciate you saying as much. And I know that you've written a couple of other go giver parables here. But before we get into all that stuff, I wanted to dive in to something a little bit apropos here very much apropos is a lot of people are disagreeing a lot lately.

Which is sort of the focus of the new on here and people are disagreeing a lot lately with political stuff, especially and it becomes almost like you can't even be in the same room with folks. So before we dive into the go giver influencer.

Content per se, I would love to hear your opinion on this because I think a lot of people are in the same room and they're talking across each other. It's just not working out.

Well, it can be in the same room physically or it can be in the same room in terms of online platforms. I mean, how often do we see on Twitter or Facebook for example, someone someone post a thought about a politician or a policy.

Right. And someone writes back hits send and it says you and people like you are disgusting human beings. If you're even human beings, are you trying to ruin this country?

You want people to I don't know what it would ever the people right back. Okay. Yeah. And so when that happens, I would ask the question.

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