My name is Sherlock Holmes.

It's an unusual name.

Introducing Young Sherlock, a new Guy Ritchie series. What game are we playing today? Discover the origins. It's cleaving. Those days are surely behind me. Of crime's most iconic mind. There has been a break-in. Astoned. You should be a detective. Starring Hero finds Tiffin, Donald Finn and Colin Firth.

If you start wearing a hat like that, I will no longer be friends with you.

Young Sherlock, new to comp.

Could you hear me whistle just now?

Is that a thing?

The last thing I need is to have any more impediment on my speech.

But I've gone through an ordeal this week, and there might be some whistling.

You might hear it.

It's hard to say.

It's the first recording I've done since it's happened.

And we might be in for a few months of slight whistling on certain syllables,

which is, yeah, I really should be put down.

I'm like an old dog who, like, gets cancer and then, like, it heals.

The vet tells you, like, oh, you know, we're going to need like 15 grand to do surgery and this shit dog that you don't even like. And some people pay, but not for these dogs. He's like, why don't we just do the right thing and kill this dog? And you're like, I can't afford it. No, you can't. You can't afford it, can you? and the fucking vet just, you know, he probably gets, that's the only reason he took the job and spent six years in vet school or whatever. I mean, you would think it's to save animals, but it's the only real way to safely kill animals also. So I'm not saying it's all vets, but anyway. But yeah, like, and you just don't do it and then i'm the dog who like oh he you got better and like why do you get better and then when he finally die you find out just because like a bunch of fat hardened around the cancer and created a cancer pocket and stuff leaked out of it and it caused yeah i i probably smelled the dog smelled the dog not me i'm the dog it smelled terrible just fart smelled like disease because they were they were just leaking

into his fart string or fart stream this fart path uh just cancer shit you know um

because like yeah that's why a fart smell because they passed through shit. Well, if they were passing through cancer.

I mean, one of the worst things I ever smelled, the morgue was someone who had died of uterine cancer, an old woman.

I'd take a picture of a uterus on like a, a board. There was like, you know, a copystand type of picture.

And I thought it was covered in human shit. Like, it was like, it was like, it was brown, it was like diarrhea. But it was just dead

blood cells apparently. I'm like, is this shit? Did she shit on her uterus somehow? And no,

...