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Dam Internet, You Scary!

301: What’s Scarier: Ocean or Space? on DIYS with Sam Salem ​

Dam Internet, You Scary!

Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore

Comedy Interviews, True Crime, Comedy, Technology

4.91.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

🤣 Welcome back to another wild ride on Dam Internet, You Scary! This week we’ve got your kid’s favorite teacher and internet chaos gremlin — Sam Salem — back in the building! 🎤🍽️

https://www.instagram.com/samuelsleeves

We are talking about: 
🥞 Writing essays at IHOP
🔥 Petty clapbacks to internet trolls
🐶 Why he refuses to call the dog “his”
📞 Garfield phones mysteriously washing up on beaches
🧱 And yes… the Bricked Up Boys are officially a thing now 👀💀

Also…
👩🏽‍🚀 Ocean vs. Space debate gets weird
📦 A Chinese business owner drives 500 miles to throw hands over a bad review
🤯 The weirdest compliment Sam ever got from a troll

💬 Hosted by Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
📺 New episodes every week with the funniest people on the internet.
👊🏾 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE — or we might mail your roast to your job 📫🔥

🔗 Chapters & Timestamps below!
#DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #SamSalem #ComedyPodcast #BrickedUpBoys #GarfieldPhone #PettyLevel100 #IHOPEssays

00:00 – Sam Salem Returns: Panic Writing & Pancake Strategy
02:30 – Sam’s Secret Weapon: All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
06:00 – Ginger Identity, Black Culture & Locks Debate
13:30 – AI, Black Twitter & Sam’s Viral Videos
17:00 – Cowboy Carter & Beyoncé Concert FOMO
21:30 – Country Remixes That Shouldn’t Exist
28:00 – The “Dog That Lives In My House”
35:00 – Bricked Up Lifestyle & BlueChew Madness
41:00 – The Great Garfield Phone Mystery
44:30 – Internet Trolls, Doxxing, and Petty Revenge
53:00 – Space vs Ocean: What’s Scarier?
1:02:00 – DIYS Sign-Off & Final Laughs

S/O to our Sponsors
Blue Chew 
https://www.bluechew.com promo code: DIYS

Prize Picks
Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The weather. Tomorrow, expect a biting cold front. Hmm, how naughty. I wonder what I'll be

0:06.8

wearing or taking off. The night will be wild and untamed. Expect heavy, lashing rain

0:13.0

that'll soak you to the skin. By Monday, temperatures will rise slowly but surely reaching

0:18.7

their peak in the afternoon.

0:23.0

Not in the mood for miserable weather.

0:25.8

Fly cheaply to Turkey with Sun Express.

0:28.7

Sun Express, nonstop sunshine.

0:32.0

I work better with my back against the wall.

0:33.5

That's how I've always mean, yeah. It's just the level of anxiety and angst that I have with it makes me uncomfortable.

0:37.2

But, like, my back is against the wall, man.

0:39.3

I will make something happen.

0:41.1

However, if it's a big project and it's a way for me to flex my intellect or my creativity

0:47.4

or my imagination on, I try to take a little bit more time.

0:50.3

So I don't feel rush and I can let those creators.

0:53.1

So, like, big projects, like essays and papers and all that stuff, you would get it started a little earlier.

0:58.5

Yeah, but book reports, I would, I'll wing that shit.

1:01.7

All-nighters.

1:03.0

Yeah, all-nighters, yeah.

1:04.2

I used to, like, when I was studying, even for my finals and shit like that in college,

1:07.6

IHop used to have the All You Can eat pancakes for one outside that's going there and

1:13.3

Was that the final project or was that how you trained for it?

1:19.9

If you made it see like the pancakes was the essay.

...

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