3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Calvin feels he needs to be the “man of the house” and pay for everything. There’s just one problem: He can’t afford it. Every month he’s in the red, leading him to be anxious around money. Chantha likes to spend money on nice things and feels Calvin is too cheap with his money. The two of them feel stuck because of their different views on money. And, to make things even more complicated, Calvin – by conventional definitions – is rich. He and Chanta bring in $250k a year, and based on their savings rate, they’re on track to become multimillionaires. As you listen, notice their backgrounds. What led Calvin to feel this way about money? What motivates a husband to take on such a burden and how can Chantha and Calvin find a middle ground of comfort where they can build a future together? Pay particularly close attention to our discussion around vacation at the end of the episode. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	When we look in the venue, I look to the right, but I book the hotels or r-a-thing, I click
0:07.5	on the sword by price.
0:09.5	Like a lot of people, Calvin has a problem, spending money, makes him feel anxious, makes
0:16.0	him feel guilty, and I wanted to hear his story to understand why.
0:20.8	Where did this come from?
0:22.3	And how is it affecting his relationship with his partner, Chanta?
0:27.2	Calvin has always wanted to be the man of the house and take care of everything until
0:31.2	he came to me and says he keeps going negative after paying for everything.
0:36.9	Before we go deeper into this episode, what's your first guess?
0:41.8	What do you think is going on here?
0:44.6	I'll give you a hint.
0:46.3	Let's start way back in Calvin's childhood.
0:50.6	Take a listen.
0:52.6	I had to do it with all its own calls, collection agencies, credit card, or deferring payments,
0:58.6	what am I going to like payment plans, and I did all that, I guess, I knew all that stuff.
1:03.9	Well, how old were you?
1:05.4	Elementary.
1:06.4	What?
1:07.4	Hi, my name is Ramit Saiti, and today I'm talking to Calvin and Chanta.
1:15.1	Now, they've been together for three years, and until recently, Calvin has insisted on
1:20.8	paying for just about everything.
1:22.7	The problem is he can't afford to, and he obsesses and agonizes over money.
	...

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