4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2021

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

John has a lot of debt. Wendy knew about the $450k he owed when they started their relationship, over ten years ago, but she only found out what the current number is the day before their call with me – and the number has gone up! She wants to help him pay it off but he refuses to allow it. John insists that everything is under control, but Wendy doesn’t believe him. He makes a plan, then sets it and forgets it. She needs to check the status and cross things off the list. Underneath all of the financial questions, there’s a deeper conflict: he wants another child. She doesn’t feel ready. Does money play a part in her reluctance? As you listen, notice that John and Wendy are calm, collected, and clearly love each other – even with $600,000 of debt! I’ve spoken to couples who were more stressed out about $20K of debt. They have the trust, but they need help to get clarity. Listen for their revelations and breakthroughs around money and building a Rich Life. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I feel like it's a huge weight that we're both carrying.
0:06.1	Like John was a second kid, he's thinking about it and I'm just like, no, like we have
0:10.7	to pay this off.
0:11.7	We need to make this into manageable amount and then we can do something else.
0:19.8	John and Wendy have around $600,000 in debt.
0:24.0	Now $450,000 of that is John's debt, but he's not really worried about it.
0:29.1	He has a plan and he knows exactly how he's going to handle it.
0:33.5	Wendy, on the other hand, feels really, really anxious.
0:37.9	In fact, she assumed that their debt was going down, but right before they got on the call
0:42.9	with me, they looked at the number together and she was shocked that the debt hasn't
0:48.1	actually gone down.
0:49.4	It's actually gotten bigger.
0:51.7	It's like, I want to cry like, oh my god, how come it's not getting any lower?
0:59.1	Soon Wendy's going to be debt-free.
1:01.8	And once she is, she wants to use that extra income she'll have to help John pay his debt.
1:08.2	John refuses to let her.
1:11.0	I don't want her to worry about it, I don't want at the core of it, I don't want her to
1:14.0	worry about it.
1:15.0	But I have a worry about it.
1:18.4	John tells Wendy to relax, let him take care of things, but she's not comfortable with
1:23.2	that.
1:24.2	This is a common thing that one partner does.
	...

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