You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to

overcome insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, I'm going to be sharing three essential ingredients

to make a relationship work.

Now, usually I steer clear of making big sweeping generalizations like that. That you need these three things in order to make

your relationship work. Because as you will have heard me say so many times, life is messy,

relationships are messy. There's nuance, there's context, there's

individual preferences and differences and there's a million different variations of

what could work and what works for one person, might not work for another for another etc etc. And at the same time

having worked with so many people and heard so many people situations and struggles

gone through my fair share in my own personal life. I can comfortably say

that the three things I'm going to share today are an undercurrent to all successful relationships in that without these things and you know as a bit of a teaser these are not things like you know you must see each other this many times per week it's nothing

surface level like that that is too variable to be useful. These are really

essential foundational core ingredients on a structural level that allow you to build something workable together.

So I'm hoping that in sharing this it will have a two-pronged effect for you, one for the future or even for a current relationship if you're in one that you can see where you need to focus your energy

and attention in terms of understanding what it will take for you to build and grow and cultivate a secure relationship with each other for the long term assuming that that's what you're trying to do and for those who aren't in a relationship or perhaps who look back on previous relationships and wonder why you couldn't make it work despite

your best efforts. I'm hoping that what I shared today will give you some

acceptance and some freedom from that

that, you know, racking your brains trying to figure it out

...