295. The Parent Blame Boomerang
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 22 June 2023
⏱️ 32 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The way you think about how you were raised, especially if there were certain things you didn’t like about your caregivers’ behavior, can have a big impact on you in adulthood — whether you’re a parent or not. This week on the podcast I discuss the unintended consequences of basing your self-worth as a parent on being different than your parents were, how demonizing characteristics of your caregivers inevitably leads you to demonizing parts of yourself, and what the underlying solution is to these problems.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/295
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The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain |
| 0:16.3 | and get what you want in life. |
| 0:18.6 | And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach, |
| 0:24.7 | Kara Loyenthyle. |
| 0:28.1 | Hello, my chickens, how are you? |
| 0:31.2 | I am very happy to be able to breathe again. I'm recording this during the week that |
| 0:36.1 | New York City has been kind of covered in a fire smog from the Canadian |
| 0:41.1 | wildfires and I had a hard time with my breathing this week and my whole body just felt on edge for over a week. |
| 0:49.0 | And that was such a reminder for me of how all of our ecosystems are related. Within my body, like I felt like I was on edge, my mood |
| 0:57.5 | wasn't as good, right? I felt like my nervous system was kind of activated because I was having |
| 1:02.2 | a little trouble with my breathing and |
| 1:03.6 | then just ecosystem-wise right like you can't just tell yourself that some problem |
| 1:07.7 | doesn't impact you because it seems far away there aren't forest fires in New York |
| 1:12.3 | usually but forest fires in Canada are impacting us here, right? We're all connected and so are our ecosystems. |
| 1:19.8 | And this is like sort of a clunky segue, but it's actually really accurate also that today's episode is kind of about how a certain kind of thought pattern can circulate in unexpected ways through your mental ecosystem and cause problems that you wouldn't expect. |
| 1:37.1 | And I think it's also an episode that shows us why non-judgment and compassion for ourselves |
| 1:42.0 | and for others go hand in hand and truly can't be separated. |
| 1:46.4 | It's really wild to me how often I see people online especially who are claiming to object to someone else acting |
| 1:54.8 | unjustly or someone else dehumanizing other people and all the while they're |
| 1:59.4 | dehumanizing that person that they are criticizing themselves, it's just like a really wild feature of |
| 2:06.7 | kind of online left social discourse and I would say left in quotation marks because what the American left is and what the |
| 2:14.8 | global left is can be very different and I say this as a leftist but we will |
... |
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