The following is an archive podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for

podcast recovery. This podcast is entitled From the Files of CIA, The War on Christmas

Island. It is the first and only episode of the podcast. Welcome to episode one. This is the CIA

Planning Committee meeting log for Star Date 4946354 intended for internal CIA use only. I mean, that should go

without saying because obviously civilians don't know about Star Dates. They think that the real dates

are real that they see on the calendar. Obviously inside the CIA, we go by Star Date because we know

certain things about the universe that the ordinary people don't. I don't know why you're saying a bunch of stuff to explain it to people outside of the CIA

when this is supposed to be a CIA internal document. It's a little internal. I'm just having fun,

I guess, because I know they'll never hear it. He's just reminding them. If you are listening and you're

not us, you are breaking the law. Illegal. It's legal for us to

kill you if you hear this. It's already too late. If you hear this part, it's too late to turn

back. We're going to kill you. Anyway, I am Agent Scyther here with agents Kegger and

Agent Keaton. Morning. I have to say, I apologize. I have a case of Havana syndrome if I sound a little under the weather.

I was in Ibiza over the weekend. Steve Aoki invited me out there. It was crazy. I mean, the music was pumping.

We were having a good time partying all night. And unfortunately, I caught Havanaugh syndrome because I guess maybe a Russian must have seen me or something.

Yeah, I think you had one of those Russians with a big satellite dish just aiming it at you while you were partying with Steve Ayoki.

Yeah.

And Steve Aoki, his set had so many elaborate lighting and satellites and stuff.

I thought it was part of the show, but it was Russian.

Well, he also, he slips on all those binaural beats in his music too.

So combine that with something like Havana syndrome.

It's like, I mean, it's like beer before liquor.

...