meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Episode One

288 - From the Files of CIA: The War on Christmas Island

Episode One

Episode One

Comedy

4.8858 Ratings

🗓️ 29 June 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

CIA agents Scyther (@charlesraustin), Keaton (@intellegint), and Kegger (@necrobranson) discuss notable previous operations and plot a coup on Christmas Island. E1 on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/e1podcast

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The following is an archive podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for

0:04.0

podcast recovery. This podcast is entitled From the Files of CIA, The War on Christmas

0:10.3

Island. It is the first and only episode of the podcast. Welcome to episode one. This is the CIA

0:15.7

Planning Committee meeting log for Star Date 4946354 intended for internal CIA use only. I mean, that should go

0:25.2

without saying because obviously civilians don't know about Star Dates. They think that the real dates

0:29.9

are real that they see on the calendar. Obviously inside the CIA, we go by Star Date because we know

0:35.3

certain things about the universe that the ordinary people don't. I don't know why you're saying a bunch of stuff to explain it to people outside of the CIA

0:43.1

when this is supposed to be a CIA internal document. It's a little internal. I'm just having fun,

0:47.2

I guess, because I know they'll never hear it. He's just reminding them. If you are listening and you're

0:50.9

not us, you are breaking the law. Illegal. It's legal for us to

0:55.6

kill you if you hear this. It's already too late. If you hear this part, it's too late to turn

0:59.6

back. We're going to kill you. Anyway, I am Agent Scyther here with agents Kegger and

1:05.7

Agent Keaton. Morning. I have to say, I apologize. I have a case of Havana syndrome if I sound a little under the weather.

1:14.9

I was in Ibiza over the weekend. Steve Aoki invited me out there. It was crazy. I mean, the music was pumping.

1:22.9

We were having a good time partying all night. And unfortunately, I caught Havanaugh syndrome because I guess maybe a Russian must have seen me or something.

1:30.2

Yeah, I think you had one of those Russians with a big satellite dish just aiming it at you while you were partying with Steve Ayoki.

1:37.8

Yeah.

1:38.2

And Steve Aoki, his set had so many elaborate lighting and satellites and stuff.

1:43.0

I thought it was part of the show, but it was Russian.

1:45.0

Well, he also, he slips on all those binaural beats in his music too.

1:48.4

So combine that with something like Havana syndrome.

1:51.1

It's like, I mean, it's like beer before liquor.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Episode One, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Episode One and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.