287: THE IMPACT OF TONE AND TIMING

ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

Religion & Spirituality, Sexuality, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Christianity

4.6 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2015

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. Unfortunately, this can be a disaster for your marriage. When you don’t care how you say something or what you say to your spouse, you open up each of you to a world of hurt. Both of you deserve the respect of the other. Both of you deserve to be treated in the same way that you wish to be treated. If you don’t want your spouse to raise their voice at you. Don’t raise your voice at them. If you don’t want your spouse to interrupt you. Don’t interrupt them. If you don’t want to be accused of ALWAYS OR NEVER. Don’t do it to them. If you want to be able to have fruitful conversations it’s not just about how you say something. It’s also about when you say something. It's about your tone and timing. There are times when stress levels are high. There are times when fatigue is a huge factor (or hunger). There are times when your spouse is naturally less talkative. These are not the times to bring up a serious conversation. No one is going to be productive. Choosing the time to talk is just as important if not more so then what you are talking about. Take the first step and listen now. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	From San Diego, California, this is a one extraordinary marriage show.
0:04.0	When we're being busy is overdone, romancing is fun, and scheduling sex has taken the guesswork out of wondering when you're going to get some.
0:11.0	I'm Tony Deloreenzo, your co-host, along with my beautiful wife,
0:14.3	Elisa. From coast to coast and around the world, thank you for joining us. It's time to talk sex,
0:20.4	love and commitment. Give us a call at 858 876 563 that's 858 876 563
0:28.5	In today's show we talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your
0:35.2	conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations.
0:40.3	And philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche had this to say about conversations and about tone.
0:45.3	He said we often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it
0:51.0	has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.
0:54.9	And I realize that and I'm like, guilty as charge.
0:58.4	So it's going to be a lot of fun to kind of unwrap those whole idea of tone and timing in today's conversation but before we get to that we love starting each and every one extraordinary marriage show with a hug from you our listening audience
1:10.5	Whether you reach out to us on iTunes or send us an email or leave us a voicemail at that 858
1:16.3	876-562-63 number, we love sharing your stories because you give hope and you give encouragement to others in the one
1:24.2	community and this week's hug is brought to you by one extraordinary
1:27.3	marriages he zigs she zags get your communication on the same path
1:31.0	remember how you felt when you first met your partner, how close
1:35.0	you were like you were soulmates? Now imagine having that same level of
1:39.0	connection and intimacy for the life of your marriage, to become one of those couples that celebrates your
1:43.9	25th 30th or even 50th wedding anniversary while still being completely in love
1:49.6	with each other. That's what he zigs she she zags, brings to your marriage.
1:55.0	But don't just take our word for it.
	...

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