286: The Four-Million Dollar Finger

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 10 July 2024

⏱️ 80 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The boys riff on the most valuable body parts in history, girlfriends that are addicted to puzzles, stores being addicted to locking every item up, and sprm donation clinics that are addicted to being mid. Plus, field goal kickers are the unsung heroes of football and Bryce Harper can teach us a thing or two about why it’s good not to come.

Get double the stiff socks madness for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod

Thanks to LiquidIV for sponsoring this episode. 20% off + free shipping with code SOCKS at www.liquidiv.com

Thanks to Quince for sponsoring this episode. Free shipping + 365-day returns at www.quince.com/stiffsocks

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Ah, she's brilliant. Miss, I finally got plans out the group chat. We get it. Four votes for a festival,
0:05.9	three for a city break. It's hard to adhere to everyone's needs. There's Betty with her oversized
0:10.2	tent. Sarah and her six foot eight boyfriend.
0:13.1	All right.
0:14.0	Roger Junior and his dog, Roger Senior.
0:16.8	And don't get us started on Mel.
0:19.4	But, like a marriage counselor, she's the one keeping things together.
0:22.6	All aboard Miss I finally got plans out the group chat.
0:25.5	Keep everyone's plans alive when you travel with us.
0:28.0	P and Dau Ferris, there is another way.
0:30.0	If I have to ask you if you're in line, you're standing somewhere dumb.
0:33.0	Hey, are you in line? Oh, we already ordered.
0:35.6	Okay, then why are you by the register?
0:36.8	You looking at fruit cups?
0:38.2	Get out.
0:39.2	Jack, it went like a month without touching yourself.
0:42.4	Yeah, did you feel any better, did you feel more Alpha?
0:44.6	You did?
0:45.0	I felt more Alpha, more Agra, I wanted to get stuff done.
0:48.0	It's a better way to live.
0:49.2	But when was that to me about a successful Mormon?
0:52.0	Never to have.
	...

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