Welcome to the happiness podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff.

How many times in the course of our lives do you think we've used a phrase, If only I?

Sometimes are silly, like if only I had purchased Amazon stock when it first came out.

But sometimes they're more tragic.

If only I'd stayed in school and not dropped out.

If only I hadn't run that stop sign and killed that other person.

If only I had told my mom before she died that I loved her.

If only I hadn't drunk too much at the work party and had a one night stance and that ended my marriage.

There are so many times we have the tendency to use these words, if only I.

But in today's podcast podcast I want to talk about how this isn't really

helpful and can be harmful in our journey towards finding happiness and peace in our lives.

In my own professional journey of helping others improve their lives, this is probably one of

the hardest things I have found that I need to do to help people because people really

resist not using if only I.

And there may be a tendency to think well, some people don't have to use that phrase because

their lives have been perfect.

And of course we know immediately that isn't true.

We can all use a phrase if only I. Any of us can. The problem with it is, is it helpful? Is it useful in making our lives better?

Or does it have a tendency to keep us stuck

and just keep ruminating on the past,

which can't be changed?

Because the past is just that the past. It is what it is and it can't be changed.

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