277. The One Thing That Could Decrease Your Marital Disagreements

HERself

Abby and Amy

Grow, Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health, Parenting, Kids & Family, Opportunity, Honest, Real, Vulnerable, Purpose, Best Self, Self-improvement, Future, Comparison

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s episode was inspired by our personal experiences and a blog post from The Gottman Institute all about perpetual versus solvable problems in long-relationships. As close friends, we’ve had a front seat to the common disagreements and issues that we each have in our 10-year long marriages. We often will talk through something and try to see the other partner’s side, while also working towards solutions - which is what you’ll get to hear in today’s episode. The Gottman blog post was so i...

Transcript

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0:00.0	So I think if there is one of these issues, whether it's the socks or something bigger, if you haven't ever spoken it out loud in the meaning that you've given it to your partner, you really aren't even giving them the chance to be your teammate.
0:17.1	You've got them on the bench. You're not working with them. You were just getting mad at them for the same thing. Whereas if you at least speak it, the conversation could get you to a healthier place because you could understand their side of things.
0:36.5	I'm Amy. And I'm Amy.
0:39.2	And I'm Abby.
0:43.1	And as women, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others.
0:46.4	But your life isn't supposed to look like hers.
0:52.5	Being your best self means standing firm in your decisions and always being willing to grow with a purpose. We get vulnerable and real with an honest look into the challenges and triumphs we all face.
0:59.2	Every woman listening gets the opportunity to choose what life looks like for herself.
1:09.3	Today, our episode is going to focus all about long-term relationships and the conflicts that occur during them.
1:19.1	We have some research from the Gottman Institute and then also our own experience in ways that this has come up for us.
1:26.5	As a lot of you who are listening know, Abby and I have
1:29.9	both been married for 10 going on 11 years to Colin and Drew, respectively. And we've been through a lot now.
1:39.3	I think one cool part about this podcast is if you listened from the beginning or you go back,
1:45.1	the issues we talked about in our marriages are going to be different than the ones that we might
1:50.8	have now and some are going to be the same. But I think the phase of life that you are in really
1:58.0	matters. The things that come up for you are going to change. And hopefully we are
2:04.6	all evolving and trying to get along really well. But the idea for this episode came up,
2:11.5	Abby and I were talking, well, we always talk about things that are going on inside of our marriages
2:16.1	as friends. And we are both very
2:20.0	positive about our relationships and we want the other person to be positive. So I feel like
2:25.4	it works really well because we don't have this angsty feeling. I want Abby and Colin to get
2:33.1	along really well. So when she's confiding in me,
	...

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