272: Why Is My Teen Bombing Tests?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2026

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Your teen does everything right. Homework done. Pays attention. Stays organized. Has study skills. And still struggles with tests. Sound familiar? You're not alone, and this is not your kid's fault. In this episode of “Ask Lisa,” clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into one of the most frustrating and confusing problems parents face: the capable, motivated teen who just can't seem to perform on assessments. Drawing on the science of learning and memory, Lisa explains exactly why this happens, what's actually going on in your teen's brain, and how you can help without turning study time into a battleground. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why being great at class has almost nothing to do with being great at tests - Why the transition to high school catches so many teens (especially boys) off guard - The study habits that feel productive but actually don't work (and what to do instead) - A step-by-step approach to starting the study skills conversation with your teen - Why your teen probably won't take your advice, and who they will actually listen to - How to broker the right kind of help so your kid feels supported, not managed Whether your teen is heading into finals, is making the jump to high school, or has been struggling for a while, this episode gives you real, research-backed tools to help them turn things around. BOOK: Outsmart Your Brain by Daniel T. Willingham, PhD ________________ Today's Sponsors: Task Rabbit: Get fifteen dollars off your first task using promo code ASKLISA with the Taskrabbit app or at https://www.taskrabbit.com. Donors Choose: Have your gift matched today at ⁠https://www.donorschoose.org/asklisa⁠. iRestore: Receive discounts on their red light therapy devices at https://www.irestore.com/ Children&Screens: Check out Screen Deep wherever you listen to podcasts. ________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠ DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠ - Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠ - The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠ UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠ VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠ ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________ Episode keywords: teen failing tests, why does my teen bomb tests, high school test anxiety, how to study for tests teen, teen study skills, freshman year grades dropping, teaching teens how to study, teen not studying right, middle school to high school transition, test prep tips teens, retrieval practice teens, teen homework vs test grades, boys falling behind school Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.6	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.8	I'm Rina Nainen and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.6	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.1	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.1	We're here to help you untangle family life.
0:43.8	Episode 272, why is my teen bombing tests?
0:59.7	So last week we talked about prom, and this week we're talking about bombing tests.
1:02.2	I was a horrible test taker, Lisa, as a student.
1:09.0	Well, test taking is a skill unto itself, and it's not one that we necessarily teach.
1:14.6	And at this time of year, when finals are coming around, suddenly everybody starts to feel panicked.
1:15.4	The kids do, sometimes their folks do, about the fact that it's not clear that my student
1:20.4	knows how to actually prepare adequately for tests.
1:23.4	Yeah.
1:23.8	And I just wonder how many of us adults, if we had learned some study skill sets back in the day when they really weren't teaching this kind of thing, could that make us better in our work and life in general?
1:35.7	100%. Right? So we're going to dig into the science today. And I can't wait because this is on so many parents' minds because you make the transition from middle school to high school,
1:45.4	high school to college. There's a lot there. I want to read you this letter, Lisa.
1:49.0	Dear Dr. Lisa, Rina, my son, a 14-year-old freshman in high school is a great kid, has many friends,
1:55.2	great social life, plays on the freshman basketball team. He's an organized kid at home.
	...

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