273: Best of Ask Lisa: Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Compassion

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Does your tween or teen struggle with low confidence and self-esteem? Do you want to cultivate healthy self-compassion and self-worth in them — and in yourself? In this special "Best of Ask Lisa" compilation, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and co-host Reena Ninan pull together some of their most powerful conversations on self-esteem, confidence, and self-compassion, covering the full arc of the tween and teen years. Whether your child is drowning in negative self-talk, paralyzed by perfectionism, or just seems to have lost the spark they once had, this episode will help you understand what's normal, what's not, and what actually works. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why confidence naturally dips around ages 5-9 (and why that doesn't mean you've failed as a parent) - Why girls often experience a sharp confidence drop around age 12, and what's really going on for boys during puberty - The "tributaries and the lake" framework for building self-esteem that lasts across a lifetime - How to respond when your kid spirals into harsh negative self-talk, including the exact phrases Dr. Lisa recommends - Whether it's okay to tell your daughter she's beautiful - How modeling self-compassion is one of the most powerful confidence tools you have This episode draws on insights from guests Dr. Tovah Klein, Dr. Sue Varma, and Dr. Traci Baxley, alongside Dr. Lisa's own research and clinical expertise. Your child's confidence struggles are workable; making small, consistent shifts in how you respond can make a real difference over time. ________________ Today's sponsors: Momentous: Get 5% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠ Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at ⁠https://www.shopify.com/asklisa⁠ Mill: $75 off with your membership code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.mill.com/asklisa⁠. Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at https://www.carawayhome.com/discount/asklisa ________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠ DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠ - Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠ - The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠ UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠ VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠ ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________ Episode keywords: teen self-esteem, tween confidence, building confidence in kids, negative self-talk kids, how to raise confident kids, self-esteem middle school, girl confidence drop age 12, boys puberty self-esteem, perfectionism in teens, self-compassion kids, parenting teen girls appearance, how to help insecure teen Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.0	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.0	I'm Rina Nainan and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.0	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.0	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa podcast. We're here to help you
0:39.1	untangle family life. Episode 273, the best of Ask Lisa, confidence, self-esteem, and self-compassion.
0:57.0	Friends, I'm clinical psychologist, Dr. D'Amore. Over the course of more than 270 episodes of the Ask Lisa podcast, there's a question that has come up again and again.
1:04.7	How do we raise kids who feel genuinely good about themselves?
1:08.7	Today, I've pulled together some of my favorite conversations
1:11.2	on exactly that, a curated collection covering the developmental arc of self-esteem,
1:16.4	how it plays out differently for different tweens and teens, and concrete tools for helping
1:20.8	them build confidence. We'll also talk about your self-esteem, too, because it matters more
1:25.9	than you might think. By the end of this compilation,
1:29.0	you'll have a clear framework for understanding what's happening with your child's confidence
1:32.9	and a toolkit for supporting it. If you're here for science-backed, compassionate guidance on
1:39.0	raising tweens and teens, make sure you subscribe to Ask Lisa so you never miss an episode.
1:44.8	Hey there, I'm Rena 9 and co-host of the Ask Lisa podcast. Before we can talk about how to
1:49.7	build confidence in our kids, we need to understand what self-esteem actually is, where it
1:55.0	comes from, how it develops, and why it's so much more complex than just telling our kids
	...

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