271: Prom Night: Do I Trust My Teen—or My Instincts?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2026

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It's prom season, and one mom is facing a tough call: her son wants to go to an unsupervised after-party two hours away. Other parents are saying yes. Her gut is saying no. And her son is saying he'll skip prom entirely if she doesn't let him go. Whether it's prom, spring break, or any other "big night" moment, dilemmas like this one can keep parents up at night. Should you trust your kid, or should you trust your instincts? Dr. Lisa Damour, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, and Reena Ninan break it all down with the warmth, honesty, and research-backed guidance parents of teens actually need. No judgment. Just real talk about the hard calls parents need to make. This episode is about every high-stakes moment when your teen's desire for fun and independence collides with your responsibility to keep them safe. And it's about knowing, with confidence, that prioritizing safety IS the right call, even when it's the hard one. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why your gut feeling about this isn't overreacting (and what the science says about teens, peer groups, and risk) - How to hold a firm safety limit even when every other parent seems to be saying yes - The "third option" strategy: how to get your teen out of all-or-nothing thinking and find an alternative you can both live with - Why explaining the real risks (not just saying "no") changes the conversation entirely - How to survive your teen being mad at you without caving, holding a grudge, or damaging the relationship ________________ Today's sponsors: Understood: Check out Everyone Gets a Juice Box wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at https://www.oneskin.co/ASKLISA. Jones Road Beauty: Use the code ASKLISA for a free Shimmer Face Oil with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠. Momentous: Get 5% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠ ________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠ DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠ - Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠ - The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠ UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠ VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠ ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________ Episode keywords: prom after party no supervision, teen prom safety, unsupervised teen party, prom night rules, teenager drinking at prom, how to say no to teen, teen peer pressure prom, setting limits with teens, prom after party alcohol, high school party safety, parenting teen boundaries, when to say no teenager, teen safety overnight, prom decisions parents Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.6	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.8	I'm Rina Nainan and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.6	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.1	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.0	We're here to help you untangle family life.
0:43.4	Episode 271, prom night.
0:46.2	Do I trust my teen or my instincts?
1:00.2	Oh my gosh, 25 years later, I still remember the anxiety leading up to prom.
1:02.6	Nobody wanted to take me to prom.
1:08.3	Mrs. Jackson, high school teacher, had to sort me out with who was one of my dear friends.
1:12.7	And we were just good friends all through high school. And David took me to the prom. I had an awesome red-beated dress that I still wish I had to show my daughter.
1:18.8	But mom threw it away at some point, donated to Goodwill. But do you have fun memories of prom?
1:25.3	Not really. Actually, and I think, really, given that you seem to have had a
1:29.9	really good time, and I'm very grateful for Ms. Jackson, the setting you up, you may be one of the
1:34.5	few people in our age group who actually, like, enjoyed prom. I think if you generally ask
1:38.5	people about prom, they're like, eh, it was overrated. Like, you know, I got all excited and it
1:42.6	wasn't that great. So I'm glad. I'm glad. Yeah.
1:47.0	Well, I'm looking at prom now from different eyes with kids in high school. So I want to read
	...

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