265. The Lies We’re Sold About Motherhood & Maternal Instincts (And How They’re Hurting Us)

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2026

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Motherhood is supposed to come naturally… right? That’s the story so many women are sold, and according to Dr. Sarah Oreck, it’s one of the biggest reasons us mommys are struggling in silence. In this episode, we're unpack the guilt, pressure, identity shifts, and impossible expectations placed on women during pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. From “maternal instincts” to breastfeeding shame to the myth of bouncing back, Dr. Sarah is dispelling the myths that hold us back and offering a fresh take on what motherhood actually means. We Cover: The myth of “maternal instinct” and why so many women feel blindsided by motherhood. How unrealistic expectations around motherhood can leave even high-functioning women feeling disconnected, anxious, or like they’re doing it wrong. The pressure to be the “perfect mom” from the moment you get pregnant. From food choices to birth plans to feeding decisions, we unpack the constant guilt and policing women experience during pregnancy and postpartum. Why “bouncing back” after having a baby is harming women’s mental health. Dr. Sarah explains how identity shifts, hormonal changes, and emotional overwhelm are often treated like personal failures instead of normal human experiences. The truth about breastfeeding, formula feeding, and maternal shame. A nuanced conversation about bodily autonomy, sexual trauma, mental health, and why feeding your baby should never come at the expense of the mother’s wellbeing. How motherhood can completely change your relationship with your body. From pregnancy to postpartum recovery, we talk about body image, autonomy, touch exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from yourself. Why moms desperately need more support, community, and honest conversations. The emotional labor of motherhood is massively underestimated, especially in a culture that expects women to do everything without complaint. Permission to make choices that actually work for YOU and your family. Whether it’s C-sections, formula feeding, medication, childcare, or mental health support, this episode is about rejecting shame and building a version of motherhood that feels sustainable and aligned with your values. Connect with Dr. Sarah by following @sarahoreckmed and @mavidahealth on Instagram. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:30.5	One in a million, you're a jam shine when the light girl's dim.
0:34.4	See, one, two, three, four, three, two, one. Because no one can do it, like we do it, like who we do it. Hello, Hello and welcome to Hello and welcome to honey to me podcast. I'm Emma.
0:51.3	And I'm Cass and this is our podcast.
0:53.3	We talk about sex, relationships, mental health and really everything that just seems like it should work out really easily and naturally, but doesn't because we're messy human beings. And that's just the way it is. But it doesn't have to be embarrassing. It doesn't have to be shameful. We are all going through the exact same thing. So we just want to have those conversations to make you feel so safe and loved.
1:12.3	Safe and loved.
1:13.5	I am nothing, if not messy.
1:15.8	I have been, have you ever been through
1:18.0	like a season of your life
1:19.3	where you were just so clumsy?
1:21.1	Like this last week, I have dropped everything.
1:24.3	I've spilled everything.
1:25.8	I understand who I am in the friendship. Do not look at me that way. I understand that I am someone who has spilled a lot in my life. But not just I don't. It's never just like water. It's always red wine. Okay. That is just that's a part of the story that I just said. I spill things, a thing specifically. But just this last week, I have felt every, I've been like butterfingers around my house. And it's so annoying. It's like, it almost feels like a practical joke that the universe is playing on me. So I get clumsier when I'm a little more anxious, which I know you've been a little bit anxious lately.
2:03.1	I mean, in life, but not this week.
2:09.6	As like focused, even if it's just like a general anxiety, if there are more things going on in my brain, I'm clumsier.
2:11.4	Hmm.
2:12.2	I don't know.
	...

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