257: How Do I Guide a Kid Who Only Cares About Becoming an Influencer?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 3 February 2026

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn’t matter because they’re definitely going to be an influencer? If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and isolating when your kid’s ambitions seem disconnected from reality. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan respond to a parent letter about a tween absolutely convinced of their future influencer fame, while academic failure and emotional strain mount at home. They unpack what’s normal, what’s concerning, and how parents can respond without crushing their child’s dreams or losing their relationship. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why disengaging from school is a serious red flag- How brain development shapes tween and teen thinking about work, fame, and the future- What’s different for neurotypical kids vs. kids on the autism spectrum- Practical, concrete ways to motivate kids to re-invest in school and real-world relationships If you’re worried your child is chasing online fame at the expense of their future, this conversation offers grounded guidance and reassurance that you’re not alone. ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________ Episode keywords: influencer kids, failing grades, school disengagement, autism, motivation tips, middle school Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, lisa damour, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.6	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.8	I'm Rina Nainen and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.6	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.1	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.0	We're here to help you untangle family life.
0:43.2	Episode 257, how do I guide a kid who only cares about becoming an influencer?
1:00.3	So we're going to talk about how kids want to be influencers. Is this really a big trend you're seeing? I think it's, I think a lot of kids think about it. I think a lot of kids
1:05.3	follow them. I think there's kids who are interested in it and have aspirations. And then I think there are kids who are like, that's going to be me. Like, I think there's a wide range of how kids engage it. But I, it's funny, you know, like, it used to be they wanted to be rock stars, right? Boys. Like a million years ago when I practiced,
1:30.5	like when boys would daydream about their fans, like it was like they'd be rock stars. Oh yeah.
1:34.9	So this isn't new, but this is the new form. All right. I want to get right into this letter.
1:39.1	It says, Dear Dr. Lisa, I'm seeking your help in supporting and guiding our son. Our son is 13 years old and in eighth grade.
1:47.3	He's failing many classes at school and would be expelled at the end of this year if he continues to fail as he's currently in a private school.
1:55.1	He's gotten into his head that he does not need school. He thinks that once he has a TikTok account, he'll be making thousands of
2:01.3	dollars every month. He thinks my husband and I, who make a good living, are real losers because we
2:07.2	work for a living and can afford luxury items. He's convinced school is useless. He does not accept
2:12.2	any help from us to get himself back on track academically. To complicate matters, he's on the autism spectrum. He is high functioning. But we can't seem to get himself back on track academically. To complicate matters, he's on the autism spectrum.
2:19.1	He is high functioning, but we can't seem to get him to understand the importance of school.
2:23.5	We've spoken with our priest, the teachers, and the school.
	...

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