256: How Many Piercings Should a Teen Have?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 27 January 2026

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression? In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have? What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a much bigger conversation about boundaries, autonomy, culture, identity, and healthy parent-teen tension. Together, Lisa and Reena explore why piercings can matter so much to teens, why they can feel so unsettling to parents, and how families can move toward compromise without power struggles. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - How piercings function as self-expression and identity exploration during adolescence - How the location of a piercing can affect social and practical considerations - A powerful empathy-based exercise that helps parents and teens break through stalemates - When compromise makes sense… and when it doesn’t Whether you’re navigating piercings, hair color, clothing choices, or the next big boundary your teen wants to test, this episode offers grounded reassurance and practical tools to help you stay connected while holding your values. ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________teens, parents, piercings, boundaries, self-expression, compromise, teen piercings, ear piercing, nose piercing, family conflictask lisa podcast, lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.6	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.7	I'm Rina Nainen and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.6	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.1	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.0	We're here to help you untangle family life.
0:43.4	Episode 254, how many piercings should a teen have?
0:54.0	You know, I just loved our episode last week.
0:56.6	You always come up with these great concepts that are easy to incorporate in family life.
1:01.7	So thank you for that.
1:03.2	You are welcome.
1:04.4	I will say, like, the best part of my job is that I just get to keep thinking and pushing my own thinking about how to be useful, what I want for my family, what I want for other families. And then to have our little world of our podcast where I can then, you know, with you share that broadly, I have the best job in the world. I know I do. I love it. I absolutely loved it. I thought it was great and got some great feedback. So thank you. But this is a very interesting letter that you wanted to take up. And I want to get into it. It's about piercings and teens. I'm going to read it for you. Dear Dr. Lisa, I'm a 16-year-old girl and my mom loves your podcasts. For the most part, we get along, but there are some things we just don't see eye to eye on.
1:44.8	I was wondering if you'd ever talk about piercings on your podcast. I have two right now,
1:50.3	and I wanted a third for years, but my mother doesn't understand why I want them. She's
1:55.3	absolutely against it. I see it as a way of self-expression with jewelry, and I love the look of it. I think she thinks I'm going to want more and more. And maybe she's right. But I thought it was an interesting topic because I see her side as well. And I know for a fact, if you talked about it on one of your episodes, she would have to see both sides. Anyways, love you and your content. Oh my gosh, I love that we are
2:21.1	getting letters from cool teens. How cool is this teen? They are so cool. So she is so cool. They are
2:26.2	also cool. But I also love that she's like, I know what I'm going to do. I am going to get these
2:30.9	piercings. And I'm going to go through the podcast that my mom likes
2:35.0	to work on this problem. And, like, they're the greatest. They're the greatest in the world. Yeah. When you suggested this, I was like, what? And then our team showed me the letter. And I was like, okay, we totally have to do this one. Okay, my first question is, who's right on the piercings? Well, I don't know that there's a right.
	...

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