255: Ugly Old Sweatshirt & Monitor Swap (with David Krumholtz)
We're Here to Help
Headgum
4.9 • 4.5K Ratings
🗓️ 28 January 2026
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Gareth, Jake and Jake's doppelganger David Krumholtz help a caller who has outgrown his sloppy group of friends. Then, an employee at a software company covets a coworker's monitor.
Catch David Krumholtz in Supergirl in theaters June 26th!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. |
| 0:03.7 | Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg plus hash browns and a small coffee for just |
| 0:09.2 | five dollars. |
| 0:10.2 | For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. |
| 0:12.3 | Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. |
| 0:15.2 | Well, good afternoon. |
| 0:16.2 | This is your little friend, Stevenberg, and this is a message going out to, oh, you fantastically brilliant |
| 0:23.8 | vasectomy doctors. |
| 0:25.6 | I have a little proposal for you all. |
| 0:27.7 | My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds, is looking to get a bisectomy done because |
| 0:34.2 | he is making the choice to not bring children into this world. |
| 0:37.5 | And you know what? |
| 0:38.2 | I respect that opinion. |
| 0:40.0 | Nobody wants a bunch of little Gareths running around. |
| 0:42.9 | Boy, try saying, try pluralizing Gareth with a lisp. |
| 0:45.9 | That's not easy. |
| 0:46.9 | Nobody wants a bunch of little Gareth running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. |
| 0:52.2 | So, doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you |
| 0:58.6 | to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy. |
| 1:02.5 | Now, we'll pay for it. |
| 1:03.4 | He's got Cobra. |
| 1:04.2 | He's got great insurance. |
... |
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