#255: How to Raise Independent Kids with Lenore Skenazy

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 12 January 2023

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Parenting, Safetyism, Fragility, Resilience, Childhood Independence, Autonomy, Technology Summary: After her newspaper column “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” created a media firestorm, Lenore Skenazy got the nickname “America’s Worst Mom.” Nice. She went on to write Free-Range Kids, the book-turned-movement. (Second Edition just out!) She has been profiled in The New Yorker and lectured everywhere, from DreamWorks to Microsoft HQ to schools across America. On TV, you may have seen her on The Today Show, The Daily Show or her own reality show, World’s Worst Mom. Now Lenore is co-founder and president of Let Grow, the national nonprofit promoting childhood independence. I was struck by Lenore’s story, and as I step into fatherhood this year, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. Tune in to learn how parenting has changed over the past few decades, why safety has become a top priority for parents nowadays, and how unsupervised play and letting go a little are key in raising resilient, confident and independent children. Discover: Why Lenore let her nine-year-old son ride the subway alone in NYC Why the degree of independence and autonomy parents give their kids has changed drastically over the past couple of decades Safetyism: what it is and how it contributes to fragility in our kids The massive benefits of unsupervised play & tech-free play Why tracking your kids erodes trust and can actually cause more harm than good How to overcome parental anxiety 00:00 Intro 00:31 Parenting then vs. now 03:00 Letting her son ride the subway alone 06:43 Why are we so afraid for our kids? 10:52 The problem with prioritizing safety 24:09 Tech-free play 37:23 Why keeping kids safe has become a top priority 44:00 Is tracking your kids worth it? 51:21 How to overcome parental anxiety Links: Website | letgrow.org Book | Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow Twitter | @freerangekids Facebook | Raising Independent Kids The Coddling of the American Mind Sponsors: Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Think about the smells. The smells in the forest. The pine or the dirt or after a rain, you know, the mud. There's so many dimensions to real life. And you don't want your kids growing up in a deprived state. And online is deprived of a bunch of senses that smell and taste and touch are missing.
0:24.0	Welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast. Today, my guest is Lenore Skenezy. Welcome.
0:30.6	Hey, thanks. I've been really excited to talk to you because in the journey of becoming a father,
0:36.4	I came across your work through Jonathan
0:39.5	Heights book, Coddling of the American Mind, which I'm sure is a reason a lot of people
0:43.6	are welcomed into your world. And I was just struck by your story and it really spoke to me
0:50.7	as a child who grew up in the, I was born in the late 70s, so I grew up in
0:55.0	the 80s and 90s, and then I compare it to the world that we're currently in. I just really
1:01.4	valued being sent out on adventures and, you know, your parents kind of were like, okay, see
1:07.0	at 5 or whatever it was, and they hoped hoped you returned and that just feels very different.
1:13.6	So I'm really excited to chat with you.
1:15.7	Thank you for taking the time.
1:17.0	All right.
1:17.2	So I already have to jump in.
1:18.6	They hoped you'd return.
1:20.9	I think what's really different about that era and this era is that it seems to involve hope now and it was a given when our parents were
1:31.3	raising us, certainly when mine was rising me, walking to school at age five when it was the norm.
1:35.9	And I feel bad because somehow we got so focused on the worst case scenarios, the most dreadful
1:43.7	things we could dream of. And we're sort of
1:45.4	haunted by this, this nightmare. And it feels almost sacrilegious to say, unfortunately, we live
1:52.4	in a fallen world and sometimes something terrible will happen that can't impact your everyday life
1:58.0	because it sounds like, no, who cares? Sometimes some kids are going to die.
	...

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