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The Mark Groves Podcast

#256: Healing in a Toxic Culture with Dr. Gabor Maté

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.95K Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2023

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Themes: Attachment Theory, Child Development, Trauma, the Mind-Body Connection, Authenticity, Boundaries, Illness, Health Summary:  It is such an honour to welcome renowned speaker and bestselling author Dr. Gabor Maté to the podcast this week. Dr. Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on various topics, including addiction, stress, and childhood development. He has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection, and Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It, and has coauthored Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in nearly thirty languages. In this illuminating episode, we discuss his incredible new book, The Myth of Normal, and how much of what we deem the norm in today’s culture is neither healthy nor natural. Join us as we explore a range of topics, including trauma and its effects, attachment theory, the mind-body connection, the cost of repressing emotions, and more. Discover: How much of what we deem ‘normal’ in today’s culture is neither healthy nor natural and is actually responsible for a lot of illness in both mind and body.  How to differentiate trauma from a stressful experience The impacts of trauma on mental and physical health and how normalized trauma is in our culture Why the medical system ignores the mind-body connection The cost of repressing your emotions and people-pleasing How to heal in the toxicity of modern culture 00:00 Intro  00:47 The Myth of Normal 03:26 The idea of normal 05:28 The toxicity of modern culture 09:38 How our childhood wounds show up in the present day 12:43 Trauma 17:16 Why medicine ignores the mind-body connection 23:46 When does an experience become trauma? 26:16 Importance of attuned caregivers 34:15 The cost of suppressing your emotions 39:00 The cost of people pleasing & no boundaries 43:42 Choosing your pain - authenticity vs. belonging 50:00 Exercises for self-understanding 55:00 Healing a toxic culture Links: Website | drgabormate.com & wholehearted.org Book | The Myth of Normal - Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Instagram | @gabormatemd Facebook | @drgabormate Twitter | @drgabormate Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality by Dr. Darcia Narvaez The Evolved Nest: Natures Way of Raising Children and Creating Connected Communities by Dr. Darcia Narvaez Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0

Attachment means to belong to somebody, to attach to somebody for the sake of being taken care of or to take care of the other so that one is attached to one's adult partner for the sake of being taking care of them and also being taken care of when I need that, but also taking care of the other.

0:19.4

Welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast today.

0:22.8

I am blessed to be accompanied by Dr. Gabor Mate.

0:26.3

Welcome.

0:26.8

Nice to be with you.

0:27.5

Thank you.

0:27.9

I have to say this is a very exciting moment for me because I've had the honor of, I went to the psych networker,

0:34.1

saw you give a keynote there, attended your workshops there. I've been, you know,

0:39.1

having formerly lived in Vancouver, have been a long time fan of the work that you've been doing.

0:43.8

So I'm very excited to have you here today. Well, thank you. In your new book, the myth of normal,

0:49.5

which, I mean, I don't, to me, I think it's probably the best book that's coming to my life in some years

0:56.1

because I think you've done this beautiful job of explaining the connection to emotion,

1:01.8

relationship, and health, and the impact that it has.

1:05.5

And I'm curious, what led you to writing this and what has the journey been like?

1:11.5

Yeah, so medical practice teaches you certain things if your eyes are open,

1:18.0

if your ears are poised, you know, and what you learn is that human beings are whole beings.

1:25.2

They're not just collections of organs and freedom or human beings are whole beings, they're not just collections of organs. And furthermore, human beings don't develop, live or die

1:32.9

simply as discrete separate entities,

1:36.2

but we're part of a whole network of other beings

1:40.1

that includes the entire culture that we live in,

1:43.1

so that when, you know, not to mention all

1:45.2

of nature, but the point is that when people get sick as a physician, you're not just looking

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