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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

253-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.723.4K Ratings

🗓️ 5 September 2014

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Whenever you see a microphone anywhere that is an opportunity. The possibility now exists that you can grab that mic and you can fart in it. This is how we even the playing field in life. A homeless man and a Greek billionaire suddenly become the same living being - a mic farter. King A** Ripper is an international treasure for a reason. He seizes the opportunities that others ignore. He never, EVER passes on the chance to drop heat for the rest of us. Thank you Hairy N Gross Glutton. You inspire us all. International super star Nicki Minaj got the hint (okay it wasn't her) and now has a real hit on her hands! Plus Theo heard the song that all the Mommy's are talking about and, you guessed it, he wants his cut. Tina tries to reason with him, but there's no taking the hood out of this pooch. Tina is a big NERD and wears undies during a massage (MOMSSAGE). Are you the same type of NERD that she is? If you're a flight attendant please keep the jokes inside of your head. You're the WORST! And finally Half Ounce drops some crazy Ya know what I'm talkin about, ya feel me, ya know what I mean? And Tina thinks he has some BIG WORDS too!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Alright, we had to do this. A little tag at the top we like to call it. There's some interesting things going on that we forgot to mention in the episode.

0:08.0

Yeah, the biggest thing ever is that we've been waiting to talk about this for the longest time.

0:15.0

Well, we restocked the Theo 24-7 shirt. That sold out quick last time.

0:24.0

And as you know, Theo gets his cut. He's always wanting to talk about percentages.

0:30.0

And you guys heard him loud and clear. And the shirt sold out. So it's been restocked.

0:36.0

If you go to your mom's house podcast.com and you click on the store, you can...it takes you to the Astoy merchandise website, which houses all of the shirts and merchandise from the show now.

0:50.0

But this is a unique shirt for us because not only does it have Theo, who's Theo 24-7.

0:56.0

And it has, I believe, small through 4x in the men's shirts. But there's also a female cut shirt.

1:03.0

So t-shirts are a different cut for female. And it has...

1:06.0

To accommodate your breasts.

1:08.0

Yes, and they are full all the sizes for female too. So it's one of the only shirts we have both men's and women's cuts.

1:15.0

And that is now fully stocked. Also completely normal. My DVD from my special...there are autographs, hard copies of that on the site.

1:26.0

So please consider getting that.

1:28.0

Also, you've...those DVDs are sealed with plastic that you farted in. Every single one of them.

1:34.0

Yeah, I did. I farted in all of them. And it wasn't my idea, but you told me, oh, everyone will like this.

1:41.0

Well, because it adds value. Yeah, I never thought of that.

1:46.0

Well, thank you for that. Thanks for bringing up.

1:49.0

You got it.

1:50.0

That I did fart. It's really cool.

1:54.0

Don't tell Theo if you bought...if you buy the shirt, it's just...it's so...he's sowing his head now about the money.

2:03.0

Yeah, yeah.

2:04.0

Just don't mention it if you see him, okay?

...

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