251-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 August 2014

⏱️ 73 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you do the ALS Ice Bucket challenge make sure you suffer thru it, so says the unofficial spokesman of the ALS Foundation. We wear our jeans the highest and we hope you appreciate that. Did you remember that cops are bald and s**t? They're bald, man. They're f****n bald. Do we have a song about that? Yup. Plus Tommy ate a Joey Diaz edible again and, you guessed it, panic, fear and unplanned detours took place. When Tina reads their text exchange you might have to rewind it and hear it again. Is the Cargo Shorts debate finally resolved?!?! NO. You, the little mommy can't decide and neither can we. Be The JEANS!

Transcript

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0:00.0	jeans. I got coffee and the cookie. Pinch my dick and squeeze my tits.
0:07.7	Real hard. That's a song I wrote. So I was a door and pinch my dick. Real hard. Do
0:14.7	it. Do it like you did yesterday. Maybe lock them door. Maybe lock them door. Maybe lock them door.
0:20.1	You sound like him. Pinch my tits and squeeze my dick. Real hard. No. It's pinch my
0:26.5	dick and squeeze my tits. Real hard. That's it because I love the idea of you
0:32.2	squeezing a man's tits. It doesn't make sense. Pull my dick and squeeze my tits. Real hard.
0:38.7	There you go. There you go. That's how you do it.
1:08.0	Welcome to your mom's house. Your host. Tom Siguaro and Christina Pagizki.
1:19.4	Mom? Well, your jeans, boy. But I'm outside. Put your red office.
1:23.9	Dip a little your whole life blind. Bite.
1:26.3	Next up, round talk. Give it a wipe down. Don't hesitate to listen to them.
1:31.0	Mommy's with the crown. Oh, wipe down. Or is the wipe pop? Oh, my God. Seriously.
1:38.8	Oh, yeah. And that's good. Another job. You've lost them. I take 28 and trim.
1:45.0	I take PR. Be shiny. Man. I'm, yes. Why? Who just bother? Was that the old man? All I know.
1:50.6	Bite. Hey, buddy. Guess who it is? Many people talk. Don't spread the knowledge. All about the
1:57.0	shits. Mommy, T and Mommy see. Looks like another good ass guess. Watching clips and talking
2:02.6	shit. The mommy is the best. But I want to say this once we both the show.
2:06.8	Mommy's for life. Fuck me in a bro. Go. That's the best line of that. Fuck me in a bro.
2:15.1	Denver, Colorado. I'm going to the great comedy works downtown where I belong with my peoples.
2:29.9	Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So this is it, man. I'm really excited to be back. I haven't been to
2:36.1	that specific club in a few years. Specifically. Specifically. That club I haven't been. I've been to
2:43.0	the South Club. But I'm really excited to be back. Please come out. Only five shows. Thursday,
	...

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