249-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Relationships, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.7 • 23.7K Ratings

🗓️ 20 August 2014

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When you can't write a song, just sing what you're actually seeing or holding the moment that you open your mouth. That way you can belt out a total piece of trash, just like you were meant to. Turn up the volume! Listen to us talk about stuff and play audio clips! See? Plus Tommy met Mike Tyson. What? Yup. And it's a pretty crazy story. Turns out the former champ is a big fan of streaming content. Do Cargo shorts make that bulge even BIGGER? The mommy's debate and invite you to weigh in with your d**k knowledge. Give us your best shot, little jeans. And OMG Maria is FIRED UP. Was it service? Yes. Was it Starbucks? No. Is a race/ethnicity mentioned? You bet! Pull em up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Jeans up. Ready? Let's go. And action.
0:07.0	The Jeans are so high. The Jeans are so high. The Jeans are so high. The Jeans are so very
0:30.0	high. The Jeans are so very much the fucking high.
0:37.0	I had something come up so I'm no longer doing Philly Wednesday night but I am doing Philly Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
0:50.0	So Helium in Philadelphia, you know I'm your dad and I'm going to be there and I'm also your mom and I'm doing one of my favorite clubs which is your club.
1:03.0	So please come out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, only Helium in Philadelphia. That is that and then next week I'm going to the great city of Denver, Denver, Mom Volado as you put it.
1:18.0	Mom Volado, I'm going to come keep you company. You're keeping me company. Comedy works in downtown doing the downtown club, not the South Club. Downtown club is my favorite and I am also there Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
1:32.0	You'll be doing shows there Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, but not Sunday night. That's right we're flying back Sunday.
1:41.0	And I'm bringing not only am I bringing you a to keep me company but Big Urn aka Andy Erickson is coming to do the shows with me. How exciting is that?
1:52.0	Big Urn, by the way I don't hub I'm not spoiling anything but our friend Ann Tullock on a hundred sayer last name in Denver DMed me to see what your size was.
2:03.0	So you might have something cool being in for you from the Mommies.
2:07.0	Yeah, that is exciting. But these are two of the best comedy clubs in the country and I'm very excited to be doing Denver and Philly these two weeks.
2:17.0	That's awesome. I'm just looking at our new portrait. We'll get into that in a minute. Let's not spoil that.
2:23.0	Let's just take the business for our international Asian jeans. I'm also going to be in Hong Kong, Singapore and Macau.
2:33.0	I'm there the week September 8th through the 14th. So you know if you're around.
2:38.0	It's a city connection right there. Yeah, just come see me at jeans connection and that's that.
2:45.0	We're going to take you right into the next month. September, jeans and I are doing one show only in South Florida and it's September 18th at the Fort Lauderdale improv.
2:55.0	I don't know where that is.
2:57.0	Oh, where?
2:59.0	Far Lauderdale. Okay. Okay. Far Lauderdale improv in far Lauderdale. Actually, Hollywood, Florida, but we call it the far Lauderdale improv.
3:10.0	Well, you're in a very immature. It's part of the Seaman whole hard rock casino.
3:15.0	I'm okay. Okay.
	...

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