249: When Teasing Turns Toxic, What’s a Parent to Do?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 9 December 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Middle school can be rough—emotionally, socially, and developmentally. When teasing crosses the line into cruelty, it usually puts a dent in kids’ confidence and sense of belonging. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack the complicated social dynamics of middle school, explain why meanness can become a source of power, and why empathy can be in short supply. Drawing from years of clinical experience, Dr. Lisa explains how bullying emerges, why even “good kids” sometimes join in, and what parents can do when their child is being targeted — or doing the targeting. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why middle school social insecurities can bring out the worst in kids - How and why boys weaponize words like “gay,” even in progressive communities - When (and how) to approach the school — and why restraint can sometimes help - How to support your child with empathy and validation, without rushing to “fix” it This episode will help you navigate one of parenting’s hardest moments–knowing that your child has been hurt by peers–with compassion and clarity. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: bullying, middle school, social dynamics, teen anxiety, friendship Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.
0:06.6	Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.
0:12.8	I'm Rina Nainan and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.
0:17.6	And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.
0:19.1	We bring you science-back strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions, and more.
0:24.6	We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now.
0:28.6	So subscribe to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens and join our YouTube community today.
0:35.6	Just Google, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.1	We're here to help you untangle family life.
0:43.7	Episode 249, when teasing turns toxic,
0:46.5	what's a parent to do?
0:56.1	The middle school years can be so hard.
0:57.4	So hard.
0:58.9	Who would want to redo them?
1:03.7	Like if somebody were like, would you like, would you like, I'd rather eat ground glass?
1:04.1	Yeah.
1:08.0	It's funny you say seventh grade because that I just remember seventh grade so well.
1:10.0	And I don't know if it's hormones and you're emotional.
1:11.1	It's just a mess. It just is not. Not for every kid, but I don't think anybody would go back and do it again. And as a mother
1:16.7	of a son too, developmentally, you see people, especially with athletics, you see people growing in
1:21.6	different. There's a big range. I mean, there's kids who are really big. Yes. Shaving.
1:27.4	Yes. And there are kids who are still looking like Yes. Shaving. There are kids who are still
	...

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