Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about.

Rina, I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.

I'm Rina Nainan and welcome to Ask Lisa the psychology of raising tweens and teens.

And I'm Dr. Lisa DeMore.

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Episode 250, is it okay to push back on my kids' holiday wish list?

Oh, tis the season to ask for everything and to think your parents are going to buy it.

It is. It is. And I feel about these holiday wish lists. We're going to get into that today.

But like, what do you think? Is it a bad thing? Are we setting our kids up by like having them put it together?

Asking them to do it. It is a bit of a setup. But at the same time, like who wants to spend a lot of money on stuff they don't want? Right. And I will tell you we have a pretty good system in our family. So we, I host Thanksgiving at my house and it's all of our family who happened to live in town. My husband's side of the family lives in town. And so we dismiss the kids. We get their wish lists and we divide them up. And so we then know that they're going to get

what they're asking for or the reasonable things we want to give them, but we know who's giving them

what. And it's not over the top. Okay. So you have a plan and you create. You guys are highly organized over in the DeMoor House. Well, I have fabulous in-laws and a couple fabulous sister-in-laws and like they get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of want to be the Grinch and say no gifts for anyone, just come and have a good time. And you know, I do love opening gifts and I love that. but I also feel like it's such a consumer. We're always telling them bye, bye, bye, right? Yeah. The older they get, it's just feels like a lot. Yeah. Sometimes we've done what we call consumable Christmas, which is like you get stuff like lotion, coffee, like consumable Christmas. I like that you're going to use up. But, you know, I mean, it's, obviously,

there's a lot of holidays at this time of year and a lot of gifts being given. Yeah. Yeah. If anyone's thinking of me, I'd like a vacation at some point in February. Go away somewhere warm. Experiences. I like experiences. I want to take right into this letter, Lisa. So, hello, Dr. Lisa, Nrina.

I want to first thank you for your work in this podcast.

You've

provided us a lot of valuable guidance. My daughter's 12 and in the seventh grade. She's a great

kid who does well in school, plays competitive soccer, and has good friends. However, she's getting

more into brands and shoes and struggling with feeling envious of things her friends have.

...