247. "We’re in our 40s — with nothing saved"

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2026

⏱️ 101 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Stephanie and Chris, an early-40s couple with three young children, two of whom have special needs. Chris is a professor, and Stephanie, an RN, has recently cut back her hours due to burnout. Despite Chris’s confidence that “it’ll all work out,” their current financial situation is dire: 92% fixed costs, $544K in debt, and virtually no savings. Stephanie handles the books but feels dismissed when she raises concerns, while Chris struggles to listen and often interrupts. Ramit helps them uncover hidden money scripts, gender dynamics, and a profound lack of communication that has kept them stuck in an "avalanche of inaction" for years. Can they finally align on a concrete plan and connect meaningfully about money? In this episode we uncover: • The stark reality of 92% fixed costs and zero investments • How Chris’s “it’ll all work out” dismisses Stephanie’s worries • How their money conversations always end in gridlock • Why a wobbly kitchen sink reveals their deeper financial issues • The surprising cost of their kids’ swim lessons • How their combined salary still leaves them broke • The emotional toll of their financial situation on Stephanie • Chris's self-awareness about his "ignorant reassurer" role • How their money "inaction" has cost them hundreds of thousands • Why Stephanie feels unheard and Chris struggles to listen • The plan to drastically cut fixed costs and tackle debt • Why it’s time to stop making excuses and start taking action Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:04:47) Their repetitive money conversation (00:08:24) Chris's "natural reaction is to shut down" (00:10:40) "He's a buzzkill" (00:16:35) Breaking down their assets, debt, and net worth (00:22:04) Stephanie's emotional confession (00:24:00) Chris's desire to comfort without listening (00:48:47) The cost of their inaction on investments (00:56:56) How Chris can better support Stephanie (01:11:00) What true financial partnership looks like (01:12:00) Transforming their conscious spending plan (01:21:00) A path to a 60% fixed cost future This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires March 31, 2026. #FacetAd MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and up to 50% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTubeIf you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you are in a relationship where you or your partner cover up spending to avoid big fights,
0:06.6	or you get stressed out spending $150 on dinner, even though you can easily afford it.
0:11.7	If you lay awake at night anxious about money, I want to talk to you.
0:15.7	I'm currently casting couples for the next season of the Money for Couples podcast.
0:20.0	We only do this a few times a year, and I want to hear from you.
0:22.9	You can apply today at IWT.com slash apply.
0:26.9	Being on the podcast is basically a three or four hour coaching session with me.
0:31.7	Tons of past couples who have appeared on the podcast have said it is a pivotal moment for them
0:36.2	to get on the same page. So if you want
0:38.7	my take on your unique financial situation, this is your chance. Apply right now at IWT.com
0:45.5	slash apply. If we have an emergency, I don't know where we're going to pull money for that from.
0:53.2	We have three young kids to special needs.
0:56.1	What's the closest you've got to a true financial emergency? Now. We need to get out of this
1:01.9	hole and get our plan together and make some sacrifices. That's the key thing that's been missing.
1:07.3	I feel like we're just kind of floundering and not going anywhere. We're treading water,
1:11.8	but not even anymore. The dynamics between the two of you have cost you tens of thousands of
1:17.6	dollars. If you stopped earning money, do you know how long you would last? We wouldn't. You would
1:22.1	last less than a week. Also, accept that you're going to pay thousands in interest. That's why you're
1:25.8	stressed. That's it. That's the ballgame.
1:28.0	You're broke.
1:29.9	Feel guilty.
1:30.7	You feel stupid.
	...

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