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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

248. "Her spending scares me. Should we get married?"

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6124 Ratings

🗓️ 17 February 2026

⏱️ 105 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Cre and April, a couple of five years, aged 46 and 48. Cre lives a debt-averse life and has been methodically building her wealth. April, on the other hand, earns more than twice Cre's income but struggles with significant debt and zero savings. They are at a crossroads, contemplating moving in together, but their conflicting approaches to money present a major hurdle. Cre fears that April’s spending habits will lead to constant arguments and financial strain, especially with the prospect of marriage and inheriting April's substantial debt. April, however, doesn't see her spending as a problem, insisting she lives a good life and can always work more to cover expenses. Ramit helps them uncover the generational patterns influencing their financial behaviors and challenges them to reconsider their current dynamic. In this episode we uncover: • How Cre and April act as "granny and child" during money conversations • Why April feels micromanaged and hides purchases • The emotional pressure April uses to get what she wants • The significant disparity in their net worth despite April's higher income • Why April initially doesn't see a problem with her spending habits • The uncomfortable truth about April treating money like she's still poor • How April's family history of money management influences her • The shocking revelation about generational money patterns • Why April's daughter is following a similar financial dynamic • Ramit's direct challenge to April's “innocent doe” persona • Cre's struggle to set clear financial boundaries • How April reacts to Cre's direct financial expectations • Ramit's step-by-step plan for April to tackle debt and build savings Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:04:14) April's persistent questions about Cree's spending (00:07:49) The "granny and child" roles in their money talks (00:12:47) Why April fears marrying into debt (00:13:46) The core of their financial disagreement (00:23:05) A stark comparison of their financial numbers (00:26:08) April's disconnect from her serious financial situation (00:36:00) Cree’s secret side income and resourcefulness (00:40:00) April’s luxury basement renovation with zero savings (00:44:40) Unpacking April's extensive debt and spending habits (00:48:28) Generational money patterns in April's family (01:05:32) Cree's struggle to set clear financial boundaries (01:10:09) The pitfalls of "walking on eggshells" in a relationship This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 30% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Are you looking to retire in the next 5 years but wondering if you have enough saved? Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Does this sound like you? You want to retire in the next five years, but you're wondering if you have enough.

0:06.6

Do you have enough saved? What if something unexpected happens? Can you actually travel the way you want in your retirement?

0:13.5

If this is you, I want to help. You can apply to get coached for free on this podcast. Apply today at IWT.com slash apply. That's IWT.com

0:24.8

slash apply. You're going to move in together. You're going to get married. What are we doing here?

0:29.0

I guess the problem is I don't agree with how she spends money. And I don't agree with how she wants to

0:34.2

hoard money and not live life. That's extreme. I'm definitely on defense. It feels like micromanagement. Say we got married. Then I owe $379,000 in debt. My salary's not going to be able to take care of all that. We're going to be in a world of hurt. It scares me. You have zero in savings. True. How much of the basement cost?

0:55.3

Oh, it was 100 grand.

0:56.2

What the...

0:56.9

She doesn't see that there is a problem, so there's nothing to fix.

1:00.3

I need you to set the standard for yourself higher.

1:02.6

I'm not here to fix you.

1:04.4

Only you can fix your situation.

1:07.5

Are the two of you financially compatible?

1:09.7

I don't know.

1:15.6

Listen to this line from her application. We haven't been able to take the next step in our relationship because we don't see eye to eye on money.

1:21.6

It has been a roadblock that has almost led to a breakup.

1:25.6

Today I'm speaking with Cree and April. They're 46 and 48 years old.

1:29.9

They've been together for five years and they hope to move in together in the next few months.

1:34.5

But just like Cree mentioned in her application, the difference in how they view money has led

1:39.9

to hesitation on what they should do next. Cree is debt averse and she's been quietly methodically

1:46.4

building her wealth. April is earning more than twice what Cree earns, but she's in debt. She's got

1:52.7

zero savings and she fights over how she manages her money. They're talking to me in part today

...

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