246. "We’re drowning in debt, but bought another house"

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 3 February 2026

⏱️ 113 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Melissa and Tony, a couple who immigrated from Mexico with big dreams and an even bigger work ethic. In less than a decade, they've built a net worth of nearly $900,000. But beneath the surface of their impressive paper wealth, they’re carrying almost $1 million in debt and are completely misaligned on their financial goals. With their second child due any day, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes, from differing money styles to the profound impact of their upbringing. Can they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and build a sustainable rich life? In this episode we uncover: • How Melissa and Tony built a nearly $900K net worth in 8 years • The "rollercoaster" of their financial decision-making • Why their credit card debt is actually due to real estate • Tony’s “paycheck to paycheck” feeling with a $189k household income • Melissa’s childhood money lessons from her dad, Mr. No • How they navigate financial planning with a baby due this month • Why they avoid combining their high incomes • The cultural influences shaping their financial narratives • What happens when Tony is “comfortable” and avoids change • The deeper reasons behind their ongoing money disagreements • Ramit’s advice on how to communicate about money effectively • A surprising agreement that might change their future Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:28) Their chaotic financial situation (00:07:07) Melissa and Tony’s real estate struggles (00:13:07) Melissa's real estate ambitions vs. Tony’s pessimism (00:20:58) The cycles of making and losing money (00:26:59) The ineffective communication about debt (00:33:57) The danger of making emotional money decisions (00:37:35) Diving deep into their income and debt (00:46:01) Their unspoken rules about money and spending (00:51:56) The painful truth behind being "house poor" (01:00:43) Impact of childhood money lessons on their current finances (01:10:29) The parent-child dynamic in their financial relationship This episode is brought to you by: Superhuman | Turn your inbox into momentum. Sign up at https://superhuman.com/ramit. ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply

Transcript

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0:00.0	How much debt are you guys in right now?
0:02.3	924,000.
0:03.5	How does it feel to you to be in debt?
0:05.1	It feels like we're never going to get out of it. Tony didn't want to buy another property because he doesn't like real estate investments that much. I was like, no, let's buy this short sale. And then we bought it. It feels like I live paycheck to paycheck. I don't feel like I'm making any money. I can't even figure out what page anybody's on right now.
0:22.2	It's like a kid wanting to buy a toy.
0:24.2	I want this toy. live paycheck to paycheck. I don't feel like I'm making any money. I can't even figure out what page
0:21.1	anybody's on right now. It's like a kid wanting to buy a toy. I want this toy. No, I want that toy. You're talking about a million plus dollars here. I feel like I'm in the roller coaster again, trying to see what he's going to say next. If we end this call right now, I suspect you will go the rest of your life, getting into debt, making a little bit of money over here, paying it off,
0:40.5	going into debt, making
0:38.4	a little bit of money over here, paying it off, going into debt, doing it over and over until one
0:43.0	day it's like you're in the ocean and it just engulfs you. Do you know anybody who's done that?
0:47.4	Their parents? They loves their houses. 50. And now you're both repeating the same pattern.
0:53.7	Today I'm speaking with Melissa and Tony, a couple who immigrated from Mexico to the U.S. in their early 20s.
0:59.8	They didn't have a lot of money, but they were willing to work long hours to build a successful life together.
1:06.0	And it worked.
1:06.8	Eight years later, they've built a net worth of nearly $900,000.
1:12.5	So in less than a decade,
1:18.7	they're almost millionaires on paper. But beneath their paper wealth, Melissa and Tony are overwhelmed.
1:24.2	They're carrying massive real estate debt, and they are misaligned on their financial goals.
1:29.1	And with their second child due any day now, they really need to get all of their houses in order. That's right. They currently own three properties. I'm going to pull up their
1:34.5	conscious spending plan, which is the exact system I use to see how someone earns, spends,
1:39.7	saves, and invests. If you want help navigating your own CSP, join my money coaching program at IWT.com
1:47.4	slash money coaching. Here's where they stand. Assets, $1.58 million. Investments, $190,000. Savings, $30,000. Debt,
	...

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