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Honeydew Me

240. Q+A: “Why Do I Rush My Pleasure And How Do I Stop?!”

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8533 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: "My question is about breaking a negative habit. My long-term boyfriend is wonderful, patient, and always makes sure I finish, but sometimes I find myself not wanting to have sex at all because I don’t feel like giving myself the time. It’s like, “ugh, it takes too long and who has time for that?” How can I change that mindset, stop rushing my pleasure, and actually enjoy the process?" What We Cover in This Episode: Why it’s so hard to give yourself permission to take the time. And how guilt or pressure shows up even with a loving partner. Where the “too much work” mindset comes from. We trace it back to messages about sex, bodies, and being “easy.” Why it’s normal to feel impatient with your own pleasure. And how to shift out of that without forcing it. How to make slowing down feel good instead of awkward. Real ways to make the build-up part of the fun again. What to do when your brain won’t shut up during sex. Simple ways to come back to your body without overthinking. How to talk to your partner when you need more time. Language that feels natural, not clinical or awkward. Where to go from here. Check out our new ⁠1:1 coaching program⁠ and see how we can help you confidence, communicate better, and get the pleasure you deserve. ⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE! Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠ ⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Emma, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.

0:04.0

See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.

0:08.0

Cause no one can do it like who we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.

0:12.0

Like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.

0:16.0

Emma, start us off with what you sent me earlier today.

0:19.0

Okay, I will. So it's the two drag queens who are amazing and their best friends. I forget their names constantly, but that's no shade. I forget everyone's name. But they're best friends. And then one of the clips is when they're talking and they're like, I love myself, but I don't love the way that I am. It's so funny. That's the honesty I'm looking

0:39.5

for. That's the truth, the deep. Hello. Hello. That's what we resemble here at Honeyduty

0:48.1

podcast. I'm Emma. And I'm Cass, and this is where we talk about sex, relationships, mental health,

0:53.3

all of those tricky, sticky things is where we talk about sex, relationships, mental health, all of those tricky, sticky things.

0:56.6

But we talk about them from the most honest, ridiculous, vulnerable perspective possible because we also have no idea what we're doing or we do a little bit more now after five years of talking to some of the world's leading experts.

1:10.6

But we're just

1:11.5

right there with you. We never want you to feel alone. We never want you to think that you're

1:14.6

the only person going through that embarrassing weird thing. We have either been through it or going

1:19.3

through it or will go through it because there is no unique experience when it comes to human

1:22.7

beings. So welcome, bitch. So welcome. Bitch, you're not special.

1:28.5

You're not special.

1:29.6

No one likes you.

1:30.6

Shake it off.

1:31.4

They love you.

1:33.0

They love you.

1:34.5

And we love you.

1:35.4

And we're happy to have you here, hopefully staring at our faces because where you can do that is Patreon.

...

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