238. Why I Struggled to Read Sex Books (and How I Healed)
Female by Design
Francie Winslow
4.9 • 686 Ratings
🗓️ 6 October 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
As a newlywed, I wanted to grow in intimacy—but even reading a sex book felt terrifying.
In this episode, I share how my early years of marriage were marked by fear, shame, and resistance around learning about sex. Even though my heart longed for connection, my nervous system was on high alert. I used to hide sex books inside other books at the bookstore—because I was afraid someone would see me learning.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed or ashamed when it comes to sex ed (even in marriage!), you're not alone. This episode is full of honesty, healing, and hope.
What you'll hear:
-
The cultural messages that made sex feel scary and shameful
-
Why I dissociated from my body—and how I began to reconnect
-
How sex books became a surprising tool for healing
-
The power of patient love and growing vocabulary in marriage
Mentioned Resources:
-
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women – Joyce & Cliff Penner
-
Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start – Cliff & Joyce Penner
Resources and Invitation to Go Deeper:
Growth Courses
101 Strong Foundations for Married Sex, here
201 Pleasure and Orgasm: Passion and Practicals, here
Before (And After) I Do, here
Get Connected Inside the Circle Group Mentorship
Keep learning and get direct access to Francie! Join the Circle group mentorship. Inside the Circle, we talk practicals and get support to grow. Learn more here: The Circle
Donate to keep the message moving with Francie Winslow:
Your one time donation will allow us to continue to produce and distribute teaching and resources. Thank you for partnering with us! Donate here.
Connect with Francie:
Receive Francie's weekly newsletter
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Female by Design podcast, an honest space for female flourishing. |
| 0:08.0 | I'm Francie Winslow. |
| 0:09.9 | Together we'll explore sexuality and spirituality by God's design, healing our relationship |
| 0:16.9 | with pleasure, our bodies, and our identity as beloved image bearers. |
| 0:23.1 | So let's take a deep breath and step into God's invitation to live fully alive as women, |
| 0:30.9 | mind, body, and spirit. I'm so glad you're here. |
| 0:36.2 | Hey, everybody. Welcome. I am right now adjusting're here. Hey everybody. Welcome. |
| 0:47.8 | I am right now adjusting my body and my chair to have more posture to sit up and to take a deep breath to feel my rib cage opening. |
| 0:52.6 | Sometimes I even like to rub my hands, like I'm making friction with my hands. |
| 0:54.2 | I don't know if you can hear this through the mic, |
| 1:00.3 | but I like to do that because it even feels like warmth created in between my hands brings a fresh awareness to my nervous system about the aliveness of my body and connection to my body. |
| 1:05.8 | Sometimes I like to put some essential oils. Often I do in my car. I'll put them between my hands and just rub them and then take a really nice slow, deep breath in. |
| 1:16.4 | Kind of cupping my hands around my mouth and my nose that I can smell something beautiful, |
| 1:22.2 | something that awakens my senses and connects me to this sense of being awakened in my body. Things like that that you can do |
| 1:29.3 | all throughout the day are little tools that help reconnect you to the divine design of God for |
| 1:35.1 | your body to be engaged and awake. And that's one of the things I want to talk about is how do we |
| 1:40.6 | intentionally engage this idea of pleasure in our bodies in normal life? |
| 1:45.5 | So, God, thank you for the gift of learning and growing. |
| 1:49.2 | Thank you that you are the God of growth. |
| 1:51.4 | You are the God of stewardship. |
| 1:52.9 | You are the God of creation, which is constantly expanding and more and more to explore, understand, and be in awe of because you are an infinite |
| 2:05.0 | source of wisdom and an infinite source of beauty and you are the object of our affection. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Francie Winslow, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Francie Winslow and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.