233-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 25 June 2014

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There are kids here so please SIT YOUR WHORE ASS DOWN! That's a pretty aggressive way to address a fellow passenger, but we all have our days. Chuck Woolery blames Canada and wants to take them down! Will you side with him? Our bed is old and we are ready for a new one - where do you sleep, outside? On nails? Share your experience. Tina's fart game has been raised and the Mommies make a promise to stop droppin bombs - can they keep it? REAL TALK - The Gypsies are back and White Trashier than ever. S**T just got way worser, ya'll. Will we ever eradicate them? This episode is like a bag of chips going into a bowl.

Transcript

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0:00.0	My fellow Americans, there's no question we are hooked on foreign oil, and we're looking everywhere to feed our addiction.
0:11.0	So I've been thinking a lot about Canada lately, or as I like to call it, America's top hat.
0:21.0	It's a well-documented fact that Canadians secretly want to be Americans.
0:27.0	It's also well known that Canada is brimming over with oil.
0:34.0	188 years worth.
0:38.0	So let's kill two birds with one stone.
0:41.0	Invade Canada.
0:43.0	Trust me.
0:45.0	It will be easy.
0:47.0	We'll get there oil and they'll keep things clean.
0:51.0	After all, their national sport is sweeping.
1:01.0	Welcome to England's top.
1:05.0	Welcome to England's top.
1:07.0	Welcome to your top.
1:23.0	I'm Cigora, I'm from Svina Pajitsky.
1:26.0	I'm Bala, your dreams putt, Bala, my sighting with your red obviously.
1:36.0	I live your whole life blind, bites, extra brown talk.
1:40.0	You better wipe down, don't hesitate to listen to their mummies with the crown.
1:45.0	Wipe down or raise your wipe up, oh my god, seriously, build a opera, say a shot.
1:51.0	Oh yeah, and that's good enough, a shot of applause on my team, 28 inch rim.
1:57.0	I think we all be shining, man, I'm here, that's right, who's part of what's at the young man, all I know, bites.
2:04.0	Hey buddy, guess who it is, when it be top, don't spread the knowledge all about the shit.
	...

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