230. Q+A: "How Do I Stop Feeling Ashamed Of My Sexual Fantasies?"

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. The Question: "Okay, so I’m really trying to work on my sex shame, and one thing I cannot get past is fantasizing. Like… every time I start, my brain is either like ‘this is unrealistic,’ ‘you should be embarrassed,’ or ‘lol you don’t even have a partner.’ How do I shut all that down so I can actually enjoy it and then, once I do have a fantasy, how do I make it real?" What We Cover in This Episode: Why shame gets in the way of sexual fantasies. We unpack why your brain tells you your desires are “weird” or “wrong” and how to push past that shame. How to reframe “unrealistic” fantasies. Your imagination has no rules. We talk about ways to enjoy sexual fantasies in your head, share them out loud, or scale them for real life. Exploring fantasies without a partner. Solo play is the perfect place to experiment. From touch to toys to creativity, we show you how to make it hot on your own. Why fantasizing isn’t cheating when you're in a relationship. We break down why it’s totally normal (and even healthy for intimacy) to think about scenarios that don’t always include your partner. How to talk to your partner about fantasy. Scripts, conversation starters, and real-world examples for bringing your fantasies into the bedroom. The “reality scale” for fantasies. A framework to help you decide if a fantasy should stay in your head, be shared in conversation, or acted out in bed. Ways to bring fantasies to life solo or partnered. From porn to role play, we share creative ways to turn your ideas into real experiences. ⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" (+ so much more bonus content) HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	One in a million. You're a jam shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one.
0:04.9	One, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.0	Because no one can do it like who we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:12.3	Like we do it.
0:15.0	Like we do it.
0:15.6	Like we do it.
0:15.7	Like we do it.
0:15.7	Hello.
0:18.7	Hello.
0:19.3	Welcome to Honeydumie Podcast.
0:38.9	I'm Cass. And I'm Emma, and this is our podcast where most of the time we're just gabin about sex, relationships, friendships, mental health, family. And sometimes we get to answer your questions too, which is kind of one of our most favorite parts is when we get to talk directly to your brain.
0:44.2	Absolutely. Because the whole point of this podcast is to remind you that you're not alone,
0:49.0	to show you that you're not alone in case nobody has ever told you that before. So we talk about some of the embarrassing things, some of the sticky things, some of the shameful things.
0:53.6	And it's just nice to know we're all going through it together.
0:57.9	You know what I mean?
0:58.9	Sure is.
0:59.8	Because all you need is a friend.
1:02.2	That's all you need.
1:03.4	All you need is a friend.
1:05.2	I will share.
1:06.3	So I am reading Decisions, Decisions Book. It's No-Holes Bard. And it's no holes barred um
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Cassandra Anderson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Cassandra Anderson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.