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Honeydew Me

229. Honey Archive: Stop Feeling Like Sh*t About Being Single with Shani Silver

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8533 Ratings

🗓️ 27 August 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Being single isn’t a waiting room and it’s definitely not a personal failure. This week, we’re diving into the archive and revisiting our episode with Shani Silver, writer, content creator, and author of A Single Revolution, to unpack the harmful narratives that keep single women stuck in shame, comparison, and “search mode.” Shani’s work challenges the idea that romantic partnership is the ultimate goal and offers a powerful reframe: your life is already worth celebrating right now. We talk about how to stop centering dating apps, how to reclaim your time and joy, and why being single is not the problem... shame is. We cover: Why singlehood isn’t a problem to be fixed. Shani unpacks how society pathologizes being single and why that’s BS. How to live a full, exciting life without a relationship. From travel to career to pleasure, we explore what it means to prioritize yourself. Why dating content fails single people. We talk about the toxic dating culture that keeps people chasing “the one” instead of feeling whole on their own. What it means to want partnership, but not suffer without it. Shani offers real talk on being open to love without letting it define your worth. How to stop treating singlehood like a temporary phase. Your life isn’t on pause. We explore how to fully engage with your present, not just your potential future. The emotional toll of romanticizing relationships. From internalized shame to feeling “behind,” we look at the stories that are hurting us and how to rewrite the shit out of them. Why single people deserve better content. You’re not unfinished. Shani calls out the lack of empowering, non-dating-focused media for single people and shares what she’s doing about it. Tangible mindset shifts to start enjoying your life now. Shani shares her go-to tools for reframing singlehood and finding joy without needing a plus-one. Connect with Shani: On her website Get her book "A Single Revolution" On Instagram ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

One in a minute.

0:02.0

You're a jam shine when the light grows dim.

0:26.7

See one, two, three, four, three, two, one. Because no one can do it like who we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it. Because no one can do it like we do it, like we do it, like we do it. Like we do it. Hello. Hello. Welcome to Honey Do Me podcast. I'm Cass. I'm too tired to introduce myself. I'm Emma, and this is our podcast where we talk about sex and relationships, friendships, all of these beautiful structures in your life and kind of

0:32.3

the things that can make them feel a little awkward, a little sticky, a little uncomfortable,

0:36.8

and we break it down. And we make

0:38.4

you feel normal because you are and you're not that special because all of this has happened to all of

0:43.6

us. And how comforting, how comforting, comforting. Comforting. To know you are not that special.

0:51.3

Like, oh, God, the number of things I've talked about on here that I'm like,

0:54.6

I am pretty sure this is just happening to me. Then people are like, no, my vulva falls asleep

0:59.5

too. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it does. Yeah, it does, bitch. Yeah, it does. I know. So that's why

1:05.7

we welcome you here to make friends and make a community and feel a little less alone. So you're welcome. Preemptively. Okay, I have updates for you. Ooh, do tell. Sexual. So I know you don't always like those for me. I know, but thank you. My partner. Thank you for the warning, though. You're welcome. Okay, so if you're not subscribed to our Patreon, which why aren't you?

1:28.3

It's so much it over there.

1:30.8

And honestly, I don't even know if this minisode has come out, but we talked a little bit about incorporating toys with a partner in the bedroom.

1:40.1

I think that's actually coming out later.

1:41.8

But something to look forward to.

1:43.5

Anyways, we really inspired me, and I've used a lot of toys with my husband over the decade that we've been together.

1:52.2

But I realized that I would always use them in conjunction with something.

1:57.9

So like during penetrative sex, like using like, you know,

2:01.4

the dame toy that like the Eva, um, or like when we were making out or something like

2:07.0

that, there always had to be something else happening to because I think I felt too like focused

2:12.0

on otherwise. And so this last time I, I've talked about how now that like I've been on my medication for a while

2:19.6

Prozac I'm having trouble orgasming from internal stimulation alone um and so my husband and I were

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