231. How to Stop Being the “Good Girl”: End People-Pleasing, Perfectionism & Emotional Outsourcing

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If your self-worth depends on being liked, playing the “good girl,” or keeping everyone else happy, you’re stuck in Emotional Outsourcing™. In this episode, our bestie Bea Albina, a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Master Certified Life Coach, and author of End Emotional Outsourcing™, is back and teaching us how to quit people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits FOR GOOD. We cover: Why we emotionally outsource in the first place. Bea explains how codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism are survival strategies we learned early on, NOT character flaws. How Emotional Outsourcing™ keeps you stuck and miserable. We unpack the hidden ways outsourcing your worth drains your energy and relationships. The nervous system’s role in healing. Bea shares SIMPLE somatic and polyvagal tools to help you actually regulate and build resilience. Why people-pleasing sometimes feels safer than saying no. Learn how your brain and body keep you locked in old patterns and how to break free. Practical ways to set boundaries without guilt. Simple scripts and reframes for protecting your energy without shame. How to move from perfectionism to self-trust. Shift from performing for approval to living as your authentic self. Daily practices to reconnect with your worth. Because you are SO worthy. Bea teaches us grounding tools to build confidence, self-compassion, and inner safety. PREORDER BEA'S BOOK HERE! (and then go to her website HERE to get all the special preorder goodies!) ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	One in a minute.
0:02.0	You're a jam shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.0	Because no one can do it like we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:15.7	Hello.
0:17.5	Hello.
0:18.4	Welcome to Honeydemy podcast.
0:20.1	I'm Emma.
0:20.8	And I'm Cass. And this is our podcast where we talk about sex,
0:23.9	relationships, mental health, emotional outsourcing, which is what we're talking all about today.
0:30.3	If you're like, what the fuck is that? Oh, are you in for a damn treat is your life about to be fucking changed?
0:37.3	Absolutely.
0:38.0	As it will, every single time we sit down with Beah, who is back on the podcast, she's like,
0:43.3	I don't know, her 100th time being with us on Honeydumie.
0:46.1	She's our best friend and an absolute queen at breaking down big, complicated feelings
0:51.5	and making them so digestible and understandable and like changing your fucking life with them.
0:58.9	She also wrote a fucking book,
1:01.6	how to end emotional outsourcing.
1:03.5	I know, and it comes out September 30th.
1:08.4	But we just wanna talk about it today
1:09.8	and like talk about emotional outsourcing and how we
1:12.4	all do it in all of these different structures in our life and the ways in which we can have tools
	...

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