Welcome to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience dating, love and relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach and attachment expert, Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, I'm going to be offering you five questions to ask yourself before thinking about getting back together with your ex.

This is a controversial topic. Whenever I talk about breakups on Instagram or anywhere else, whenever I do a Q&A, I always get a lot of questions around this, around, you know,

whether and under what circumstances someone should be

considering this, whether it's a good idea. And I have my opinions around that. You know, I might

get in trouble for saying this, but my personal view is that in the vast majority of cases,

breakups happen for a reason and are usually for the best,

even though they can feel so painful and the actual transition process after a breakup is hard

and grief-stricken and all of those things, even still, I think that in most cases, a breakup happens for a reason

and we should be focusing our attention on holding ourselves through that process so that we can

move forward rather than trying to frantically undo it because we don't like the discomfort

of the experience. But with that being said, that's not, you know,

a universal rule. It's not some sort of, you know, blanket dictate that you have to follow.

And so in today's episode, I'm hoping that I can offer you some questions that you can sit

with, reflect on, be really honest with yourself about, so that if you are

staring down the barrel of making a decision like, should I get back together with my ex,

you're at least doing that, having thought through it, and really lent on your more

rational, objective, reasonable parts of your brain rather than making a

decision based purely on emotion and, you know, pain, fear, grief, loss, longing, all of

those things that are so central to the experience of a breakup because I think that those

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