228. Rough Sex & Impact Play: How to Explore, Ask & Actually Enjoy It (Without The Shame or Awkwardness)

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 20 August 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Curious about spanking, hair pulling, or a little consensual roughness... but not sure where to start? You're not alone. In this episode, we’re joined by Luna Matatas, a renowned Sex and Pleasure Educator known for her playful, trauma-informed approach to kink and impact play. With over 15 years of experience in the field, Luna walks us through how to explore rough sex in ways that feel hot, empowering, and safe. We talk about how to build trust, use communication as foreplay, and find the confidence to go after what you really want in bed, without shame or second-guessing. We cover: What impact play actually is and what counts as "rough sex". From spanking to slapping to hair pulling, Luna breaks down what it means to play with power and sensation. Why communication is the sexiest part of kink. Learn how to express what you want, ask for what you’re curious about, and create safety before the clothes come off. The difference between pain and pleasurable pain. We unpack how intensity can feel good and how to find your own personal “yes” when exploring impact play. How to introduce rough sex into your relationship without making it weird. Luna gives real-life scripts and ideas to help you start the convo (even if you’re nervous). Why you don’t need to be “kinky” to enjoy rough sex. Spoiler: You don’t need a leather closet or a dungeon to explore power and pleasure. What beginners get wrong about spanking and dominance. Tips for avoiding the most common mistakes and making your first experience feel hot (not awkward). How to navigate insecurity, shame, or body image blocks. We talk about how to build confidence in yourself, especially if you feel hesitant about being “too much.” Tools, toys, and mindset shifts to get started with impact play. Luna shares her favorite low-pressure ways to experiment, whether you’re solo or partnered. Connect with Luna: On Instagram On her website ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.2	Because no one can do it like we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:12.3	Because no one can do it like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:15.6	Like we do it.
0:15.7	Like we do it.
0:16.7	Like we do it.
0:17.7	Hello.
0:18.0	Hello.
0:18.2	Welcome to HoneyDuty, I'm Cass. And I'm Emma, and this is our podcast where we talk about all things under the sun that
0:25.6	make up your beautiful little world, whether that's sex, relationships, friendships,
0:30.6	breakups, anything that just feels a little bit sticky, a little bit wrapped in shame, we're
0:36.6	your best friends to talk about
0:38.2	it with because we've been there. You're not special. And we want to make you feel less alone in this
0:43.1	big, scary world that is full of feelings. We're also full of feelings. Yeah. And like, I think one thing
0:51.2	we have learned through our friendship is how valuable it is to have somebody who's like, oh my God, I see you.
0:58.8	Yes, that same embarrassing thing is happening to me.
1:01.5	And I think we're lucky to have found each other in that.
1:04.9	And I don't think everybody is as lucky.
1:07.2	And we're scared to like put that out in a friendship.
1:09.9	You know what I mean?
1:10.5	Like it's scary to be the first one to take that step and be like,
	...

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