Okay, so obviously I've been putting this off. It's been about six going on seven weeks now

since I lost my dad and I did say in the first part

that I was gonna try to do this week by week

and sort of document the process of dealing with this

and none of that happened.

Quite honestly, I think now that I'm a few weeks into this,

I totally underestimated how difficult this is going to be.

Like completely 100% underestimated.

And I don't know it's just as anyone I'm

anyone I'm sure can guess or has experienced it's not easy. This is not easy in any way, shape, or form.

But on a day-to-day basis, you know, I'm trying to be okay because I do still have to live I do still have to work I do still

have like the world still has to go on just because you lost somebody important to

you doesn't mean that the world stops and

that's an insane thought to me for some reason but also makes perfect sense.

So I'm doing doing my best every day not to just sort of be crushed by this reality, but I'm, there are these moments where that's not possible.

Like it's not possible for me to not be and so I think I've been putting this off because

recording another episode means facing it again.

Recording another episode means means

you know being aware for five, eight, ten minutes,

that this is the reality I live in and this is the truth that I'm in.

But I decided to do it now because I am upstate.

I'm at my mom and sister's house,

...