Welcome back. This is savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Are you guys thinking about having kids?

How much did your new house cost?

Haven't you found a job yet?

Why aren't you drinking?

Nozy questions are everywhere.

Your coworker asks how big your raise was, the stranger in the elevator asks

when the baby is due, or your mom tries to bond by asking you about your sex life. Even the long-form

U.S. Census is nosy. How many cars do you have? What's your income? Were

you laid off from your last job? It's enough to make you wonder if Aunt Mildred is consulting

for the government.

Now, with all the family gatherings, nosy questions go into hyperdrive during the holiday season.

Therefore, this week, let's talk about how to perform some verbal jubitsu

when Aunt Mildred asks why you're still single. But first, some empathy. Why do people ask nosy questions in the first place?

Well here are four possible reasons.

Reason number one is they misinterpret your level of intimacy. So a misreading of

boundaries often happens with older relatives who remember you as a kid,

especially if they once wiped your butt, tucked you in or monitored your vegetable

intake, they may be used to a level of intimacy that's much more personal. So years later,

their brain may still picture you at the kids' table and may not

have upgraded their appraisal of you to an adult with boundaries to be respected.

...