215 SelfWork: Ten Fears You Choose to Face When You Risk Giving Up Control
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 22 January 2021
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today’s podcast is one that, if you’ve been listening to SelfWork for a while, you know that this topic has been my own personal passion – as it’s closely aligned with my work on perfectly hidden depression. We’ll talk about ten fears you face when you choose to give up or ease out of being or looking as if you're in total control.
Those ten fears are:
- The fear of vulnerabilty
- The fear of uncertainty or unpredictability
- The fear of facing the past
- The fear of your anger exploding as it's been long suppressed
- The fear of not being able to forgive yourself/your imperfections
- The fear of there being no other way to succeed
- The fear of rejection
- The fear of not being needed
- The fear of being wrong
- The fear of intimacy
The listener email comes from a graduate psychology student whose experiencing greater and greater insecurity as the end of her training approaches. She wants to know if I felt the same way and what recommendations I could make. How do you bolster your self-confidence when you can’t measure the success of your efforts?
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
Episode 214 with Lewis Howes
Elliot Cohen Psychology Today article
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work |
| 0:29.3 | Hello and welcome or welcome back to self-work. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford at |
| 0:34.0 | clinical psychologist. I live in Fayetteville, Arkansas and I've been bringing |
| 0:37.8 | self-work to you for more than four years now, with three groups of people in |
| 0:42.0 | mind, those of you who might already be very comfortable |
| 0:44.9 | with emotional and psychological issues, maybe you're in therapy, to those of you who might have |
| 0:49.3 | just been diagnosed with depression, anxiety or some other kind of psychological disorder or maybe |
| 0:54.8 | you have a relationship problem you're struggling with but to a third group as well. |
| 0:59.9 | To those of you who might never darken the door of a therapist or you don't think you |
| 1:03.8 | would but you're just curious enough to listen to self-work. I'm so glad all of you are |
| 1:09.0 | here in this 215th episode of self-work. Today's podcast is one that if you've been listening |
| 1:15.9 | to self-work for a while you know that this topic has been my own personal |
| 1:19.3 | passion as it's closely aligned with my work on perfectly hidden depression. |
| 1:23.4 | It's that need to be constantly in control, not necessarily in the way that those that suffer |
| 1:28.1 | from OCD or GAD, that's generalized anxiety disorder, have to be, but those that believe either |
| 1:34.0 | consciously or live out unconsciously that feeling and striving for ultimate |
| 1:38.8 | control is the only way you can stay safe, where you can achieve. your control over your life is your best friend |
| 1:45.4 | it's what you turn to when things get stressful and yet quickly when the |
| 1:49.8 | pressure to exceed the expectations of others and yourself rule your life, then you can't |
... |
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