216 SelfWork: Is Your Life Picture Perfect or Truly Happy?
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2021
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How much do you count on people "liking" or "following" you or the videos you put on Instagram, FB or TikTok? And are you really happy or does your life appear to others as happy? Is your self-esteem found in the present or does it lie in the amount of positive attention something gets on social media? This of course is part of creating the persona of perfectionism that I stress in my work on perfectly hidden depression. But today, we focus on the three components of true happiness and how to add happiness to almost any experience you have: Positive psychologists say that all you have to do is add pleasure, challenge or meaning - and happiness will arrive.
The listener email today is from someone who suffered childhood neglect and knows it’s affecting her relationships in her adult life. I’ll hope to help out where I can.
Hope you enjoy this episode on true happiness - sponsored by BetterHelp.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
Victoria Garrick's TedX Talk “The Hidden Opponent”
Anuschka Rees' Article on three components of true happiness
Episode 124 of SelfWork: Learning From The Voices of Childhood Neglect
Psychology Today article by Dr. Grant Brenner:
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:29.0 | Hello and welcome to self-work. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist out of Fayetteville, Arkansas, |
| 0:36.0 | and I started self-work more than four years ago to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already be engaged in therapy or just |
| 0:45.1 | are very interested in psychological and emotional issues to those of you who've |
| 0:49.2 | recently been diagnosed with something and you're looking for answers or you have a relationship |
| 0:53.8 | issue that you don't understand. But thirdly to a group of you who might say I'd |
| 0:59.0 | never darken the door of a therapist, but you're here listening to self-work because there's something nagging inside of you |
| 1:06.0 | that you want answers to as well. So thanks for being here on this 216th episode of self-work. I was recently asked to contribute to an article on the |
| 1:16.3 | effect of the pursuit of perfectionism as it's tied to the growing use of |
| 1:20.9 | cosmetic injectables in teens and women in their 20s. |
| 1:24.8 | In fact 20-somethings are becoming hyper-vigilant about extremely subtle signs of |
| 1:29.3 | aging and they're being told by estheticians and plastic surgeons that if they quote-unquote start now, |
| 1:35.4 | they can fend off the dreaded wrinkles that are awaiting them down the doomed path of aging. |
| 1:40.4 | It's expensive, and I would say more than just financially but lots of young women are doing it |
| 1:46.4 | All of this made me think of a picture on Instagram I noticed months ago a before and after of a young woman who was about 22 hadn't had cosmetic procedures at the time of the first picture and the second one was after she chosen to have multiple facial injectables. |
| 2:02.0 | The difference was evident. The first |
| 2:04.8 | pictures she looked kind of outdoorsy and smiling, very attractive young woman. Her |
| 2:08.8 | skin tone was tanned, her hair long and sort of dusty blonde. In the second picture she actually looked less unique |
| 2:16.8 | and more like what we might think of as generic beauty. She was beautiful all right by American standards, no longer tanned, but she had an expertly crafted |
... |
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