#215: Resentment, Real Repair, Conflict Avoidance & Navigating Dating With Kids — ft. James ‘Fish’ Gill
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 20 November 2025
⏱️ 71 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend James “Fish” Gill for a listener Q&A all about conflict, communication, and staying connected through hard moments.
We explore some big questions, including:
- How to release resentment when a conflict is “resolved” but the emotional residue is still sitting in your body
- What real repair actually looks like, and why some apologies land while others don’t
- When a relationship swings from explosive conflict to total conflict avoidance — and how to find a healthier middle ground
- How to navigate dating when kids are involved, especially when parenting differences trigger deeper fears, jealousy, or old wounds
Fish and I unpack the relational dynamics underneath these questions and offer compassionate, practical guidance for moving through it with more clarity, honesty, and connection.
If you’re wanting to deepen your communication, repair more effectively, and understand yourself and your partner in moments of tension, this conversation will be a supportive place to land.
Connect with Fish
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:29.3 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:33.4 | In today's episode, I'm joined by James Fish Gill, and we are talking all things, conflict, |
| 0:39.6 | repair, and communication in relationships. For those of you who don't know Fish, he has been a guest |
| 0:44.8 | on the podcast before, but he is a relationship coach, facilitator, teacher, and now author, |
| 0:51.3 | and his work is really all about how we can find our way back to connection through |
| 0:55.6 | conscious communication. And in this episode, we're actually giving advice and guidance in response |
| 1:00.9 | to questions that were submitted by listeners about ongoing conflict and communication struggles |
| 1:05.4 | that they're having in their relationships. So I have no doubt that you'll get a lot from |
| 1:09.1 | today's episode, particularly given the fact that |
| 1:11.8 | conflict is absolutely inevitable if you plan to be in any kind of relationship with anyone in your life. |
| 1:18.4 | And so becoming more masterful at how we communicate, engaging conflict and ultimately repair when |
| 1:24.0 | things go awry is an absolutely critical life skill. Just before we get into today's |
| 1:29.1 | episode, a quick note to let you know that my Black Friday sale, which is the biggest sale that I |
| 1:33.8 | run all year, is now live. I know that it's easy to feel bombarded by all of the Black Friday stuff. |
| 1:39.7 | I am as guilty as anyone at getting swept up in the madness and adding so many things to my cart |
| 1:44.9 | that I definitely do not need. But if you've been listening for a while and you're curious about |
| 1:49.4 | going deeper into my work, it's a really, really wonderful time to do that. I have two bundles this |
| 1:55.6 | year. I have a secure relationship bundle and a breakup bundle, and they are an opportunity to get two of |
| 2:01.5 | my best-selling courses. Healing Anxious attachment is in both bundles and then either secure together |
| 2:06.9 | my relationship course or higher love, which is my breakup course, and you get all of that at a |
... |
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