Hello everyone this is savvy psychologist I'm Dr Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero

judgment.

Now, this week, we'll answer the question question why do victims of relationship violence go back to their abusers

now according to a CDC survey one in four women and one in nine men are victims of physical or sexual partner

violence or stalking and in same-sex relationships the numbers are equivalent or even higher but no matter who's caught in the complicated and misunderstood cycle of relationship

violence, outsiders wonder about both sides. First, why would anyone hurt someone they love? And even more puzzling, why would

anyone go back to a partner who hurts them? Friends and families shake their heads, bite

their nails, and throw up their hands.

Get out now, we say.

You don't deserve this.

And why don't you just leave?

If only, it were as simple as just leave.

This week we'll look at the complicated reasons people go back to their violent partners

and also dive into the nitty gritty of how abusers manipulate their victims even to the point of

convincing them to recant criminal charges.

But first, let's start with the big brush strokes. So it used to be thought that people went back to

abusive relationships simply out of fear. They were too intimidated to leave, they were financially

dependent, or the partner threatened them into stain.

And these are all legit. Fear is a huge factor, but it's not the only force in play.

Aside from fear, let's look at four additional reasons partners stay.

So reason number one is unequal power and this is number one for a reason and

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