210. What to Do When Relapses Suck

Overcome Pornography for Good

Sara Brewer

Christianity, Sexuality, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness

5 • 679 Ratings

🗓️ 27 January 2025

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of relapses and the intense shame that often follows. I share my insights on why shame is so detrimental to the recovery process and offers practical strategies for navigating those difficult post-relapse emotions.

If you've ever struggled with the "relapse shame cycle," this episode is for you. I break down the key steps to support your body through shame, challenge the beliefs that fuel it, and ultimately break free from the grip of pornography for good. Get ready to gain a new perspective on relapses and learn how to approach them with self-compassion and resilience.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/what-to-do-relapses

If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you’d like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast, episode 210, what to do when relapses suck.
0:08.9	Welcome to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast where we take a research-based, trauma-informed, and results-focused approach to quitting porn.
0:19.7	This approach has been revolutionary and changed thousands and
0:23.7	thousands of lives. I'm your host, Sarah Brewer. I want to talk about this post that I saw in here
0:31.1	earlier today. It said relapses just suck. The shame is nuts. It's too much. that feeling of impotency, numbness, and anger.
0:41.8	Any tips for a post-relapse start? And I love this question. And this is kind of what I want to talk
0:49.1	about today. Just that moment after you slip up and it just, oh, it's worse than before. It's worse than the
0:57.9	emotion you were feeling earlier. It's the hardest part of it all. You're stuck in the shame.
1:02.1	You feel awful. You feel angry. You feel so upset. And so two things to look at here.
1:09.3	Well, and let me first start by saying when I'm coaching someone
1:12.4	and coaching calls go a little bit different than these calls. So these calls are like a teaching
1:17.4	and then a Q&A. A coaching calls, I'm bringing someone up and we're talking and I'm like
1:22.4	working back and forth, like having dialogue back and forth and doing some coaching for a while. But when I'm doing that,
1:29.2	I'm talking to someone and we're talking through, you know, what's going on for them. I like to look at
1:34.9	it in terms of like before the porn use and after the porn use. So before the event of viewing porn
1:41.1	and after the event of viewing porn. So before the event, there's, you know,
1:45.8	we're going to look at buffering. What emotion is there that we're not aware of that maybe we're
1:50.3	escaping? We're looking at witching hours. We're looking at just the things leading up to the porn
1:56.5	use. And then if we're looking at after the event, that's when we're looking at the shame,
2:01.2	at the shame spirals, at the all or nothing thinking, at the binging. Now, what I've found to be
2:07.8	the most useful is to address any of the after stuff before we go really heavy into the before
2:16.5	the viewing event stuff, or at least looking at them like really
	...

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