Welcome back to the savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence basedbased research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Okay, so this week we have a twist on the usual episode.

It is an audio excerpt from How to Be Yourself,

Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

Okay, so why are we doing this? Well, this is the particular chapter that I've gotten

the most feedback about since the book came out. And I think it's because it covers something

we all think about, but no one really talks about.

And what could that be, you ask? Is it how to discreetly sniff your own armpits in public?

Is it how not to buy the free sample after you just ate three of them? Not quite. Instead, it is about how to make friends as an adult.

Because when you're a kid, making friends is easy, your buddies with the neighbors or the kids you see in class every day.

But after pomp and circumstance plays for the last time and you've tossed your mortarboard, you are thrust into a new world of

adulting where everything including friendship gets more ambiguous.

But fear not, you are not alone and here is what you need to know. I hope you enjoy it.

The building blocks of beautiful friendships, they're not what you think.

It is a luxury to be understood, Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Maddie turned the key and opened the door to her apartment,

where another long evening stretched

before her. She felt deflated. She was a year into living in San Jose, having moved there

from her tiny hometown in the Sierra Nevada. Jobs were scarce there, so when she got

an offer to manage payroll for a shipping company in San Jose, she took the chance, even though

she didn't know a soul in the city.

Overall, the move had been a success.

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