202: The Ick, Shadow Work, And Why You're Still Single

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Sabrina Zohar

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2026

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you keep getting the ick with every person you date, the problem might not actually be them. In this episode, Sabrina unpacks shadow work and the ick, breaking down how the parts of yourself you rejected long ago are running your dating life, your relationships, and the triggers that send you spiraling over something small. This is why you keep walking away from available, kind, emotionally present people and calling it intuition. Sabrina lays out the difference between shadow work, inner child work, attachment styles, and nervous system regulation, and why the healing work most people are doing only takes them so far. With neuroscience on projection, the amygdala, and unconscious self-perception, plus practical tools to track the charge underneath your reactions, this episode is for anyone ready to stop self-sabotaging in dating and finally build a secure, emotionally available relationship. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠ Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠ Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠ Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina Download the Poshmark app and use code sabrina when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase, or shop now at Poshmark.com/sabrina and get $10 off your first purchase. Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com by using code SABRINA at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets ============================= Chapters: 00:00 Why You Get The Ick With Everyone 03:30 Inner Child Work vs Shadow Work 07:08 What Shadow Work Really Means 09:28 Parts You Reject In Yourself 12:29 The Ick Decoded In Dating 15:42 Masculine Feminine Polarity Myth 18:37 Triggers In Your Relationship 22:32 Projection In Love (Yale Study) 26:14 Neuroscience Of The Shadow 29:38 How To Do Shadow Work Daily Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Right, home from work, walk the dog, kids are back.
0:04.4	Mom!
0:05.0	Up the stairs for something.
0:07.8	Ugh, back down, no idea what I went up for.
0:12.0	Mom, what's for dinner?
0:13.6	Chop, sizzle, done.
0:17.1	Hello, fresh, can't slow life down, but it makes bringing everyone together around the table a whole lot easier.
0:23.4	So its phones down, forks up.
0:25.5	Hello Fresh. Bring back dinner time.
0:31.3	Head to the coast in Abercrombie's latest summer drop.
0:35.0	It's short season, and their new C-Fade shorts add the perfect wash look to
0:39.0	your fit. They're so easy to throw on and pair with everything in your closet. Complete the look
0:44.9	with a new shirt and your set. Prep for summer with Abercrombie in the app, online, and in stores.
0:54.5	I want to talk to the person who gets the ick with literally everybody.
1:00.7	Every single person you go out with, there's something wrong.
1:03.4	They fucking chewed too loud.
1:05.3	The shoes they wore, they laughed too loud, they dried too hard.
1:08.5	And this person genuinely believes they just haven't found the right one yet, that their standards are just too high. And maybe that's true, but maybe, and hear me out, maybe the ick isn't protecting them from the wrong people. It's actually protecting them from being seen by the right ones. Because there are parts of yourself that you cut off a long time ago, parts you decided were too much or too needy or too messy or too
1:27.5	louder or too whatever the fuck you think. And those parts didn't just go away. They just went
1:31.9	underground. And now you're running your entire love life with that really underneath it all.
1:38.0	So today we're going to talk about shadow work, what it actually is, why it's different from
1:41.8	everything else we've talked about on the show, and why it might be the reason you keep ending up right here. Hello, hello, hello! And welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show. My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host. Hello, my babies, welcome back! It's May. It's my birthday month. I mean, this is after my birthday, but it's my month. I'm so excited to be here with my friends. It's funny.
	...

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