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The Sabrina Zohar Show

201: This Is What Happens When You Finally Choose Yourself

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Sabrina Zohar

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.95.5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2026

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this raw birthday episode, Sabrina gets honest about the hidden cost of personal growth and what nobody warns you about when you actually start doing the work. From losing friends who only knew the old version of you, to grieving the identity you outgrew on purpose, to realizing success doesn't fix your insecurities or quiet your anxiety, this is the unfiltered truth about healing that the self-help world skips over. If you've ever wondered why your "best year ever" also feels like the loneliest, this episode explains exactly why, backed by Harvard research on identity loss during major life change. Tune in for an honest conversation about why healing isn't linear, why setting boundaries can push away people you love, why guilt shows up when you start choosing yourself, and how to sit in the uncomfortable in-between when your old life doesn't fit but your new one doesn't feel like yours yet. Plus, Sabrina shares a powerful Identity Inventory tool to track how far you've actually come, the "for now" reframe that interrupts catastrophic thinking, and why corrective experiences rewire your nervous system. Essential listening for anyone in their growth era, working through attachment patterns, navigating self-abandonment, or questioning whether they're doing this healing thing right. Sparkle outfit thanks to Hand Over Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠  Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠  Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠  Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/SABRINA — and using our link helps support the show. ============================= Chapters: 00:00 The Hidden Cost of Growth 04:25 Why Growth Is So Lonely 09:29 Grieving Old Versions of You 14:21 Why Success Doesn't Fix You 17:46 Anxiety in Healthy Relationships 19:46 The For Now Reframe 21:48 Boundaries Hurt People You Love 23:07 Why Healing Isn't Linear 25:21 Sitting in the In-Between 26:40 Identity Inventory Tool Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

We hear the buzzwords, do the work and invest in yourself and love yourself.

0:22.7

But nobody tells you what the fuck that actually means or looks like. And I want to talk about the stuff that no one warns you about when you start doing the work and actually growing. Because the truth is, the best year of your life can also be one of the fucking hardest, and nobody talks about that. Everyone talks about the glow up. Everyone talks about the winds, but nobody talks about what it costs you to get there. So that's what we're going to talk about today.

0:39.5

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show. My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host. You might be asking Sab, why are you so glistened? Because it's my motherfucking birthday episode. Yes, that's right. Your girl is turning 36. Now, you're going to probably listen to this after and you're like, all right, happy belated birthday, but doesn't change

0:43.1

anything. And I really wanted to talk about what the cost of growth and healing looks like, because

0:48.6

we can look at people on the outside and think they have the life and they have everything I want,

0:52.8

but we don't know what actually looks like on the inside. And I want to normalize your experience and your journey because you see the highlight real, but you don't really see the bloopers of most people. So today we're going to talk about that. Guys, as always, thank you for being here. We get to celebrate. Please don't forget, please, please, please, leave a comment, a rating, a review, put it in your Facebook groups, share these episodes with your friend. That is literally all we ask for. If you guys need anything, you can work one-on-one, join one of our courses. We've got two incredible courses and coming out with more. You can ask a question. Everything's in the link in show notes. Or you could support the show by doing ad-free. I know some of you guys might say, I don't really care about the ads, but it even just helps

1:30.2

support us to kind of keep things going. And it's like, buying me a coffee every month, but you don't need to do that. You don't need to buy me a coffee. I'm good. I drink matcha anyways. But thank you guys for the support or just support our sponsors. Like,

1:40.8

they help us keep the show free and keep it accessible. So,

1:44.4

all right, Bays, without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we?

1:47.4

Guys, I can't believe. our sponsors. Like, they help us keep the show free and keep it accessible. So, all right,

1:44.7

bays, without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we? Guys, I can't believe it.

1:48.8

It's my, it's my fucking birthday. And every year, I like to really have an honest conversation with

1:54.6

you guys, because the last couple of years have been really fucking tough. Not because, oh,

1:59.9

what was me? And I hope that

2:01.2

everybody finds that I'm a victim. No, because it's the reality. And every birthday, I take

2:06.8

time to have stock and inventory on where I've been, where I want to go, what are the milestones

2:11.9

I've hit? Can I show some appreciation? Can I also mourn some things? And I think that's incredibly

2:16.9

important because we hear

2:18.5

so often like your life can change in a year and that is not an understatement. But what and what cost? And what cost? And that's, I think, what's really important that I really want to hit on today. Now, guys, I just want a quick shout out to Handover for my amazing outfit. They send it to me for my birthday and I'm so grateful. Isn't this so fun? So shout out to them and thank you to COSAs for my

2:37.4

makeup. Like I, I, I. outfit, they send it to me for my birthday and I'm so grateful. Isn't this so fun? So shout out to

2:35.9

them and thank you to Kosas for my makeup. I just got such a treat for my birthday and I really want

2:40.9

to say thank you to the people and the brands and the audience and the community that believe in me

...

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