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On Attachment

#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2025

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be.

While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carry emotional significance.

In this episode, we’re exploring how different attachment styles can impact the way we relate to our friends, why friendship ruptures can feel just as painful (if not more so) than romantic ones, and how to navigate these dynamics with more clarity, compassion, and self-respect.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

0:19.7

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

0:22.8

and I'm really glad you're here.

0:28.7

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode, we are talking

0:34.4

about how attachment styles show up in friendships, which is actually a topic that's been requested more times than I can count. So I'm finally getting around to recording an episode on this, which I think is really something, probably the topic of friendships more broadly is one that doesn't get enough attention. And yet is something that a lot of people have a really hard time navigating. The focus tends to be so much on romantic relationships and yet is something that a lot of people have a really hard time navigating.

0:54.9

The focus tends to be so much on romantic relationships, and yet friendships can be messy

0:59.4

and friendships can bring up a lot of stuff and insecurities and fears and all of the things.

1:05.4

So I'm hoping that in today's episode I can speak to some of those challenges and offer some insights so that you

1:13.3

can better understand how you experience friendships, the things that you might be struggling with,

1:18.0

and how you might approach that going forward in a way that feels a little bit more secure

1:23.2

and grounded and empowering. Before we get into today's episode, a couple of quick reminders.

1:28.5

If you haven't already checked them out, I've released recently a couple of free trainings,

1:33.4

one on how to heal anxious attachment, another on healing from a breakup. So those are both

1:38.6

really great resources if you're struggling with either or both of those things. And you're looking

1:43.4

for more support,

1:44.8

a bit of a roadmap, understanding yourself, understanding what the next step might be.

1:49.2

I really encourage you to check out those and my other free resources, all of which you can

1:53.4

check out on my website. Second quick announcement is just a reminder about my upcoming London

1:58.3

show. There are still tickets available if you're interested in coming along.

2:02.5

It's going to be a lovely, intimate event.

2:04.8

I'll be giving a talk.

2:06.3

Then there'll be time for Q&A and meet and greet, and it'll be lovely and casual and intimate.

...

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